The Lustful Look
One of the saddest effects of the fall of man, was was our budding proclivity to indulge in the pure and beautiful to the point of perversion. Chief among the perverted beautiful things has categorically been the many facets of sex and sexuality. Because of the unique design of the sexes, this perversion of the joys takes on a different look in men and women. For the vast majority of men it plagues us primarily visually. I have personally found this to be singlehandedly the most relentless temptation in my life. Reading through the Bible, a man will come across numerous scripture warning against sexual sin from adultery to covetousness. A man desiring to do right, a difficult as it usually is, can much more easily avoid sleeping with a woman who is not his wife and discipline himself to not covet his neighbor’s wife than he can avert his eyes from a woman he finds attractive. From there it is a slippery and somewhat ambiguous slope into lustful thoughts. And so, when he reads Matthew 5:28, there is an especially poignant sting as he realizes he’s probably already lost the battle he set out to fight.
Recognizing The Danger of Sexual Sin
I’m part of a small group of guys who, realizing how damaging sexual sins are to ourselves and especially to our marriages, have set out try and hold each other accountable in this area. We recognize that a guy having a full blown affair can trace the roots of his folly all the way back to just lustful thoughts. Those thoughts can lead to viewing pornography and flirting with other women which can become an affair in a matter of days. We realize that broken marriages, especially those involving children are the foundations of many the world’s problems – not mention how it effects our God, our Heavenly Father who created us and wanted purity and righteousness for us but watched us all throw it back in His face.
Lustful thoughts are as easy or easier to drift into as breaking a diet or little white lies or gossip, but I believe the consequences are potentially more far reaching and destructive. So it is our duty to do all we can to guard against them. In my accountability group we often share little tricks that can help us keep our thoughts pure and directed toward our wives. One such tool was a profound realization I had once and I have since dubbed it The Cheerleader Effect.
The Super Woman
The Cheerleader Effect happens when a guy finds himself in a place with lots of attractive women. It doesn’t have to be cheerleaders, but this helps you get the picture as a group of cheerleaders can probably be universally considered ‘a group of attractive women’. (Also, the underlying principle can be applied to anything we covet, not just the opposite sex.) In this situation a guy will often leave that place with an powerful sense that he just saw a huge group of some of the prettiest, and depending on the situation, sexiest females he has ever encountered. When the lust juggernaut starts, he may be then flooded with lies and evil thoughts ranging from imagining sex with them to comparing them to his wife. The sad thing is, no matter how stunningly beautiful a man’s wife is, she will always lose out to the cheerleader effect (minimally in his mind). In his mind the group of attractive women will win UNLESS he realizes and concentrates on what is happening in his mind. Simply put, the Cheerleader Effect is a number of women blending together to create one, imaginary, super woman. This is what I realized one day – that when I tried to pick one out of the group and examine why I thought she was “so perfect”, I would find a flaw in that particular girl. So I’d move to the next until I found her flaw. Suddenly, when I disassembled the “super woman”, I realized that she was made up of flawed human females. This one with too big of hips, that one with ugly hair until I realized not one of them was completely better than my wife.
Men, we must realize when the cheerleader effect is happening and then mentally dismantle it until it no longer has power over us.