Bananas Gone, ALiens Here

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]


Why is everyone so afraid of aliens? Really they are just an inquisitive people. I read Whitley Streiber’s “Communion” and find it to be so racist toward aliens. Their skin is gray, so what? Leave them alone! You know what? In the future if we tolerate races enough and have let love flow through the races, we will all end up the same gray color anyway! If human scientists went to mars or where ever these guys are from – what would WE do? I’ll tell ya what we would do, we would sneak into their houses, flash some FBI or CIA badge at them and take them take them into our ship and make them listen to Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton while we tested them for all sorts of diseases and then felt the male’s you know what while we made him look right and cough. Finally we would have to take an internal temperature and that’s where a “rod” or “anal probe” comes into play. So my point is, when they come-don’t freak out! Just let them do their “science”. Usually you won’t even remember it happened until YEARS later. Last week my alarm clock started buzzing and the numbers went loopy. The other night at 4 am, my computer speakers started cracking and buzzing. They’re here folks. Are you ready for it? Also, I had 5 bananas on the kitchen counter and now there’s 4. I know my roommate likes bananas, but he replaces them when he steals them from me. The cat’s been meowing a lot more this week. I noticed red itchy bumps on my arms and legs. My roommate’s been acting strange. Don’t be afraid. Keep it together.


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