A "To Do" List

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]


Just by browsing some random blogs I have come to realize the “proper” thing to blog about is either politics or tracking your weight loss for the world to see. I’m sorry, I cannot bring myself to blog about these things. Who on the planet Earth gives a rat’s ass about your how many pounds you’ve lost this week? OK, OK, I realize the things I write about aren’t very interesting either and thus the title of this blog. But at least I am captivated by what I write and at least I can at times laugh my ass off at the things written by Yosh. OK now I sound semi-arrogant. I’m not though. I actually have little of myself inside myself and so I am not “full” of myself. Anyway, here’s what I need to do:

To do:
1. Stop writing stupid blogs.
2. Read a book.
3. Eat a banana.
4. Drive.
5. Learn more Spanish.
6. Drink some wine and eat crackers with cheese.
7. Do “lunges”.
8. Wash the dishes and put them away (make sure the counter top is clean)
9. Write stupid blogs.
10. Buy some bullets.
11. Call a hotline.
12. Roast peppers.
13. Learn a magic trick.
14. Slap someone in the face.
15. Draw Rob Zombie on the driveway with sidewalk chalk.
16. Lick something rusty.
17. Jump off of something high (& hold nose as if in water)
18. Sleep on the wall.
19. Try to understand quantum physics.
20. Aerate the lawn.
21. Smell an aboitoire
22. Harvest mice eggs.
23. Play basket ball after drinking wine.
24. Skitch like we did last summer.
25. Help the FBI exhume a body.
26. Wonder about things and then write about it.
27. Make rice fillets.
28. Learn a new hobby (probably building model cars)
29. Chryogenically freeze a body part for use later in life (probably my left hand as I am using my right)
30. Burn fire. (I will need to invent this)
31. Try to excerpt energy from leftover pig.
32. Turn off the lights more to conserve energy for future humans.
33. Build a car that runs off of cow methane.
34. Visit Roswell. (Keep senses alert for any “strange” activity)
35. Base jump the Hoover Damn.


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