[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]
OK…so scientists recently discovered there is no such thing as time. I am incredibly joyous about this decision. This is the biggest discovery since they discovered evolution. This means we should throw away our clocks! As they are false. I am so happy that I will never be late to work again! I will be able to watch my favorite TV show right NOW! (Even though it comes on at 6:00) (because there is no such thing as 6:00 anymore!) Actually I can pretty much do ANYTHING now. I have been patiently waiting for evolution to bring me wings (I have been watching my shoulder blades slowly protruding from my back) but now there is NO WAITING!! WOO HOO!! I’m going to fly this weekend…wait! There’s no no more “this weekend”! I can fly now! Ut oh… maybe evolution thought I ordered hot wings….oh well-I’m hungry, I could go for that too.