I’m Pretty Smart and Experienced

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]


I was just thinking, and I realized that I’m pretty smart and I have done a lot of things. I’m actually one of the wiser and more experienced people on Earth. You might be wondering how I know this. It is a feeling I have. I just know. Like, I seem to know a lot about things that I don’t hear other people ever talking about. For instance, I seem to see and understand that robots are growing in intelligence and numbers. A take over is imminent if we don’t heed the warning signs.
Also, I have done many things. Just this weekend I floated the river. Where was everyone else? Sitting at home playing video games I suppose. No one else was out there on the river….well, except several kayaking lesbians. Here are things I have done lately that I bet you haven’t:

  • Rode my bike
  • Made spaghetti sauce
  • Drove to Rifle
  • Pondered the birds
  • Wrote this blog
  • Made a Podcast
  • Ran
  • Watched Planet Earth on a big screen
  • Called a girl
  • Played mini golf
  • Watched a comedian on YouTube
  • Ate out
  • Watched movies
  • I have traveled all over this town and know it like the bottom of my hand

That is only stuff I have done in the last few months. I realize there are not things like, military experience, sky diving, swimming with the dolphins, traveling to far away countries, saving children from burning buildings, etc. but come one, how many people really do those things? Not many. In real life, real experiences are more like “Playing mini golf”.
So if life confuses you, ask me your question and I will draw on my vast experience and knowledge to give you a hypothetical rhetorical rebuttal to your musings. (See, I bet you don’t even know what half those words are)


One thought on “I’m Pretty Smart and Experienced

  1. I have a list too, and I bet it’s even better:
    ~made sage and honey skillet cornbread
    ~fed the sea monkeys
    ~drove all over town with a video camera
    ~started a whirlpool in my pool
    ~watched the wizard of Oz with a 3-year-old
    ~had a party
    ~smoked a cig with my sister
    ~yelled at a dog
    ~pet a dog
    ~poured vegetable oil in my ear
    ~watched a chick flick
    ~spray painted a basket


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