Gorest Fump (1993?)

Vern very well could have led everyone to the top of the peak but he let the guide do that. Vern also could easily have done it in one day, but since he was in a group of people from “FAT PEOPLE ANONYMOUS” it took an entire week. One night when the group set up camp and got a fire going, Nigel, a 240 lb. Man said

“Hey everyone, why don’t we tell ghost stories?” Everybody sat looking at each other for a minute.

“OK, I got one,” the guide, Jim, commented. “One night, um, Bob, was walkin’ to his neighbor’s house for a cup ‘o’ sugar -”

“What? C’mon, can’t you come up with anything better?” Bertha 300 lb. Woman.

“Hold it, on his way he saw something white dart behind a tree-”

“You tell this story like you’re reading a report for school,” complained a 285 lb. guy named Billy. “Anybody else got anything better?”

“Well I have a true ghost story. When I was little, me and Chuck, my best friend, were walking along a desolate stretch of dirt road not far from houses. Off the road a little way, we saw an old house. We were pretty sure no one lived there so we decided to go check it out. It was dark out and it was starting to rain. Inside our only light was an occasional lightning strike. We walked downstairs to the basement. Things seemed normal until a strike of lightning revealed skeletons all over the floor. Chuck an’ me screamed at the top of our lungs and ran up the stairs to the door we left open. Before we could get to it, the door slammed itself shut. We turned around to see books flying off the shelves. We looked up at the web covered staircase and saw a transparent glowing person. He threw a firey ball at us and everything went black. The next thing I knew I was waken’ up the next morning getting ready for church. That was the day that- uh, sorry, this doesn’t have anything to do with the ghost story.”

“No, no, go ahead, what happened that day?” asked the guide.

“Well, that Sunday I remember the pastor had a long message – good stuff – but long. The old lady sittin’ in front of us fell asleep. I kept lookin’ at her and I noticed she wasn’t movin’. Suddenly the girl next to her screamed and within seconds there was a group of people around them. That ole lady died! Chris went to my church sometimes. Chris had a dirt bike. He used to let me ride it until the day I wrapped it around a light pole. After that we stuck to ridin’ bicycles. That’s why we signed up for the “Hell of the Northeast” bike ride. We were in high school then. It was an endurance ride, 48 miles. Anyone who wanted to could ride in it. Maybe it was the lack of better riders but me and Chris surprised ourselves when we came in 1st and 2nd!

Den I got blew up an’ now I dead!

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