Started April 20, 1993

(originally typed on an electric typewriter)



Cover typed April 24, 1993

Copyright 1993 by Josh Anderson

JOSH ANDERSON                                                                April 20, 1993

**NEWS FLASH**                            #1

The 20th century motoforfostalis giant in New Antilis has changed its portingfik from New Antilis Bay area to a gargantuous pokk in Deses-ameboust. Deses-ameboust’s reaction to this was one of welcome. GargantuousT’pokk is where all the gargantuous pokks are found. Mr. Gill Pentart the III says, quote: “I had my doubts about a big company such as the 20th Century Motoforfostalis moving its heavy equipment into one of my gargantuous poks, but when I was reminded about the increased tourism (which of course means more money) I changed my mind. “Earlier today workers at the 20th Century Motoforfostalis were given jobs to make out notice forms for the public. Bick C’das, one of our reporters, got this story from one. That wraps up today’s new flash.

(Then I typed up the rules for the Spirit of the West contest 4-21-93)

April 22, 1993

BillyJoeJimBobMaPapyElvis was caught eating pistachios.

Pev Bickeet a retired Olympic Under Water BB Stacker, parked in a handicap zone in the town of Mini-Maybell about 8 weeks ago.

(then I typed an excerpt from Doc Savage: Secret in the Sky)

Wiperd Pinklety has just broken his leg into 70 pieces after jumping off his bunk bed in Boise Idaho.

Benish Baxter of Walla Walla Washington FELL asleep while crossing a railroad track south of town. The train came and severed him in two. He is now at St. Luke’s hospital in Denver, Colorado and in a hospital in Hoboken New York.

Backyuny Fr’quose of Podol’sk in Russia, moved to the U.S.A. in search of the top chess players of the U.S. but failed when he walked straight into his front screen door and had to get stitches on the tip of his nose. He was later arrested for allegedly spilling grape juice on the white carpet of his new apartment.


excuse me:


April 22, 1993

Markale Goobertrough and his friends (19 friends + himself) broke the world record of most people on a bike at one time. The previous record was 19 on bike and they went 656 ft. 2 in. Markale & friends went 656 ft. 3 in. Markale & friends celebrated in Wollaston Forland, Greenland. Markale’s principality is Australia.

Pill GeDet of Corpus Christi, Texas, actually “laid” an egg. Well actually her swallowed a hummingbird egg and for medical reasons he could not digest the egg. The egg passed through his body. One day when he was “inducing bowel movement” (to nicely put it) the egg exited his body through his anus thus giving the illusion of laying an egg.


Today Mr. GeDet’s egg has hatched into a baby flamingo, I mean ostrich, I mean hummingbird!!

I just realized I’ve ruptured my cerebral cortex by trying to comprehend the mental capacity equivalent to Albert Einstein!

April 23, 1993

Aktan Pininberta of Fresno, California, said ‘quagmire that is svelte’ 50 times backwards in 23.2 seconds on June 10, 1945. That would be ‘svelte that is quagmire’.

Sam Butenski of Biloxi, Mississippi, ate 300 submarine sandwiches on October 31, 1977 at a Halloween party. It was a bet and he won $300! The next day he filled his Biloxi apartment, wall to wall with one inch of puke.

Allen Bowerhamlin of Albuquerque New Mexico’s favorite thing to do is zip jackets! He has a hospitality company that will zip jackets for people. He is his only employee.

Stern Quanticle, staff writer at the Canyon City Chronicle, was in his brown 1974, Nissan when he spilled his diet Pepsi in the floorboard. Stern tried cleaning the spill while driving. When he looked up he found that he was going 70 m.p.h. in 40 m.p.h. zone. He also found that he was heading west on southbound. Well of course that didn’t last long. He ran off the road and a little while later police arrived. The police asked him how fast he was going, he replied 70 m.p.h. They later discovered Mr. Quanticle was dyslexic.

April 23, 1993 is the day that I, Josh Anderson, tied the Craig Middle School pull-up record with 21 pull-ups! (5th hour)

April 23, 1993

Garth Anthony, a man with 14 children grew up in Bhutan in southern Asia. He now lives in Yakima Washington with non of hid kids. By the way, his wife mysteriously disappeared about ¼ a year ago. His kids have moved out. Yesterday he was seen purchasing  a second hand brown parka at a thrift store in a little town called Craig, Colorado.

Spin Newten an 84 year old disc jockey in Fort Worth Texas swallowed his false teeth and was rushed to the hospital last Friday. (To get his stomach pumped (he was a radio disc jockey))


Geoff Bough is on trial at the Supreme Court of Tennessee for allegedly racing with a farmer’s cow. When police hauled him in they made him take a pee test which he flunked badly because he peed on the tester’s hand. Investigators say he was on PCP that’s why he beat the cow. Scientists who tested Bough say he had previously smoked grass from his front lawn. They say Geoff was confused by the phrase “smokin’ grass”.

April 24, 1993

Dwain Patkerski to eat a rock live in front of 13 billion people. This stunt will be performed at McNichols Arena in Denver Colorado on July 4, 1993. Cost of admission will be $4 for adults and $2 for kids.

The square root of 875 is 29.580398!

Edward Kilner endeavored to take down a flying saucer with his shot gun.


I just feel like typing mon!!!!!!! Wes just came in the front door! Me and bro just helped dad take his newly made weights out of the truck. Dad is making us a squat rack. HI, I’m back! We just got done with our workout and I came so close to bench pressing 200 pounds!! Hey dude, what’s happenin’? Right now I’m eatin’ lunch. I just got done eating lunch, O.K.? The Rockies are playing the Marlins. Dad said we are going to have to get coal today (Saturday) Here we go: 1234567890-=qwertyuiop1/2asdfghjkl;’zxcvbnm,./!@#$%^&*()_+QWERTYUIOP{}1/4ASDFGHJKL:”ZXCVBNM<>?

I just typed every key on here, but I bet that the characters on this typewriter are only ¼ of the characters in the English language. (about) DUDE! Aric is here now! I’m typing with the red button down. Josh Anderson Josh Anderson. QqqqQQQQQJJJJJJJJJ&&&&&&&&&&!@#$%^&*()____________________+QWERTYUIOP{}ASDFGHJKL:”ZXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXCVBNM<>? Crut oiif4f49mp0jprj40jfp0djfJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ77777777777777777777

*Josh is a name.

April 24, 1993

Wes just said “Aric lets go into my room.” Aric is reading the paper and Wes is waiting for him in his room. Write the date that you are read this here ___________(penciled in) 4-27-93 This sign @ means ‘at’ and it is an ‘a’ see? @nd////////////xxxxxxxxxxxx What are you looking at? ½ ½½½½½½½½½½½ Why did I just type that? Search me!!! And a! “Aric what’s your favorite thing to do?” “I don’t know” Yo! Scuse me. I’m @ home. This paper is #5. I have about $195 in the bank. 50% of 100 is 50. If I had as much $ as I do (cent sign) I would be rich! I have a lot of paper and pencils. I’m *Josh.

April 25, 1993

(New day.) ==== Iky doodle. Its Sunday and WE just woke up. I’m hungry. I can’t think of anything to say.

Bill Petty sat in his living room chair reading the evening paper. He shrugged his shoulder because he thought he felt something on it. He turned he turned his head to see a giant robot spider. Before he could do anything it stuck him with a syringe like structure which was highly poisonous. The poison immediately killed him.

Daniel sat in the chair in the police chief’s office reading the paper that contained the story of Bill Petty. “Daniel, I want you and your two buddies, John and Ricky to investigate,” said the chief.

“Alright chief,” said Daniel. Daniel got up and told John and Ricky. Hjp0vjprfi4mv As you can see I’m getting bored with this story!!!!!!


:”:”:”:”: JOHDT Why do I have these key spasms? I don’t know why but typing is sorta fun. I like drawing very much. Bro wants me to play baseball I want bro to play out back with me since it is such a nice day. I did 62 sit-ups in P.E. and 21 pull-ups “Smokey come!” “Hi dawg!” “Bro come!” (Bro) “Just a second.” Today be 4/25/93

Al Sherman from Trinidad, Colorado climbed a 2 ft. peak on April 2, 1993. “I was thinkin’ about bein’ a pro football player,” he said. “He’s only 90 pounds” said an NFL coach.

Today Bandit and Sandy got out and we tried to fix the hole they got out of. I am eating a rice crispy treat. Aric just called. Wes is talking to him. 75 is my favorite #. Bro is doing some homework that he doesn’t have to do. “Mom, is funniest videos on?” asked Wes.


April 26, 1993

Monday 7:35 a.m.

Here I am folks! We watched a movie called ‘Folks’ with Tom Selleck in it last weekend. It was weird because Tom didn’t have his stushmash (mustach) We also watched ‘Memoirs of an Invisible Man’. This weekend (yesterday) we played baseball and washed the car  Sunday and got coal on Saturday. Dad let me and Wes drive the truck. Aric came with us but he didn’t get to drive, but he should of because he’s the one that just turned 15 on April 11, 1993. Oh well. I can’t believe it[s] already been a week since our free Monday. That was a pretty boring day. I worked on my 25th Anniversary Lamborghini Countach model, I played with my Transformers and I drew on the picture for that art contest I typed about at the beginning of this. Now it is 7:48 a.m. I think I going crazy! I’m actually typing more than I’m drawing lately. Well I’m getting’ bored of this, I think I’ll go DRAW.

We went to the school play with the computers today. Dang it! Why did I make that space up there? Because the space is supposed to be here!


Take the right or left palm (your choice) or your fist (right or left) and punch the person you want to kill above the upper lip, on the bottom part of the cartilage of the nose. The cartilage should become disconnected from the bone of the nose. The cartilage should lodge itself quite deep into the brain. This should kill your enemy PDQ.

What? What are you looking at? Did you expect the above story to be interesting? I’m eating my ice cream, I just pretty much got done with my shower. Well to be more specific I started typing after my shower at the part that says “We went to the school play with the computers today.” Well who really cares anyway? By the way, PDQ stands for PRETTY DANG QUICK. It is 9:35 p.m. Did I tell you we watched “THE ADAMS FAMILY” Friday? Did I? Huh? Huh? Huh?!!!! Why does this typewriter have that ½ key over there to the far left? I can’t believe I’m not in bed at 9:38 p.m. on Monday! Its because mom is doing homework with WesOOOOOOOOli Jeeze I’m typin’ a lot! Today in P.E. we did V-sit & reach and I got a -2! This is how you have to do a division sign on this typewriter -: & this is how you have to do a multiplication sign on this typewriter x.

4-27-93 Here’s how you have to do the subtraction sign – Here’s how you have to do an addition sign (they have one) +. I’m almost to the end of this paper. It is 7:55 a.m. Tuesday April 27, 1993. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ We’ll have to go to school in a minute. ****++++-: -x=V ______


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