Michael Jackson is Still Alive (July 2, 2009)

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]


Michael Jackson died one week ago today. I don’t believe he is dead. Everyone thought Elvis died too but now we all know he’s alive. I think if we’ve learned anything from the X Files, it’s that there are paranormal powers out there. We know Michael had a strong tie to Elvis because he was married to Lisa Marie Presley. (My own mom went to high school at White Haven located just down the street from Graceland). AND where do you think MJ got the idea for Neverland? From Graceland! (Well, OK I guess Peter Pan had some to do with it)But think about it, Never Never Land was about never getting older. Jacko never got older! Elvis was the King of Rock & Roll, James Brown was the King of Funk, Michael Jackson was the King of Pop. James Brown is Dead (I learned that from L.A. Style before he was dead, but Holy Noise told us he was Still Alive, but he is dead now)
Most people don’t know Jackson’s skin turned white because he of a traumatic experience (not the Pepsi commercial where his hair caught on fire) He was abducted by Caucasian Aliens. They were racist Caucasian Aliens who wanted to make him into a white person. They were also feminist and turned him into a woman. MJ was victimized by Caucasian Feminist Aliens.
I thought MJ was talented and a pretty sweet dancer.
He is still alive and they are harboring him on the moon. This was where he learned the moonwalk. He is happy there on the moon.
Drink Pepsi.


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