The F’d Up Little Lamb – Dec. 7, 2010

Once there was a flock of sheep who were all rather “in the know”, hipster sheep if you will. If one of them saw a certain movie or watched a certain TV show, all the rest had to see it too.If one wore a certain type of shoes, soon all of them would have the same shoes. Most of all, if one bought a certain brand of laptop or phone, the rest of the flock knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that brand was way better than any other.

There was one sheep though, he was black and his name was Yosh. The rest of the sheep called him a contrarian. No matter what Yosh did, he was always different (except when he wore Cons). One autumn, Yosh fell from a tree and busted his neck. Basically he got his ass kicked by a tree. This left Yosh with F’d up hands and occasionally he would knock drinks over in people’s laps.

A while later the flock realized Yosh was retarded in the relationship category and decided they should hook him up with a Cow named Abby. They didn’t care that Yosh was sheep and she was a cow. Abby annoyed Yosh with her incessant mooing.

One day the flock all went to lunch & forgot about Yosh. Yosh was really sad and decided the only way to make things better was cocaine and cutting. Just kidding. Yosh wandered around and Abby found him. As they wandered along they decided to go into a Denny’s or a VI or something…actually I think it was IHOP. They sat down for a cup of coffee and some toast. The waitress had been tripping on ‘shrooms earlier & so she didn’t even seem phased that there was a sheep & a cow in her booth…in fact, she thought she was a chicken anyway.
When Yosh’s toast came out, he saw something quite amazing! Burnt into his toast was the baby Jesus! Yosh thought “well that’s neat”. And he ate his toast.

You see, the moral of the story is that if Yosh wasn’t F’d up, he wouldn’t have seen the cool toast. See kids, when you are maligned by society, don’t worry! One day they will feel bad and try to get rid of you by appeasing you until you shut up and go away. When this happens you will be privileged to see some pretty cool little things here & there. Don’t give up!

The End

Note: All characters are fictitious and any resemblance to anyone real, dead or alive is purely coincidental.

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