To Get Out of A Speeding Ticket

I got a speeding ticket on my motor bike a few days ago which really put me on a bad one. The park Ranger clocked me right here. I have been trying to think of ways to get around the $120 ticket for going 44 in a 25. I have thought of several scenarios:
1. Eagle beak punch the Ranger in the throat & then take off (there’s no way he could catch me on my motorcycle)
2. Feign a stroke or heart attack or seizure.
3. Jump off a cliff (& come back for my bike later)
4. Throw a grenade under his truck & try to blow up his drivetrain.
5. Tell him jokes until we are old buddies & then he won’t want to write me a ticket.
6. Look! A Panda!
None of these will work and right now all I can really think of is magic. Hey if Lady Gaga can fool an entire generation into thinking she either some type of bird or reptile, I should be able to pull something. I’m thinking I should have tried a mind game on him. You know, convince him not only that I don’t deserve a ticket or that he didn’t clock me at 44, but that he isn’t even really talking to anyone. I’d be like ‘Hey man, prove to me this isn’t all some scenario in a dream you’re having. Or maybe YOU’RE not even real. Did you ever think about that? Maybe you only think you’re real, every thought you’re having is building an illusion you’re real!  So this ticket, look at it closely. Now start to see it as a cracker. See? You’ve handed me a cracker.” Then I’d crumple it & he’d see this cracker crumbling. Poof it’s gone.

Hmmmm. I don’t think I could pull it off…..I mailed the ticket today….

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