This Blog’s Irrelevance & Simultaneous Necessity

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]


Today’s post brought to you by: The Irony Weight-loss bar: Tastes so good you’ll want another one, and another one!

Well, readers, after reading some other blogs recently it is quite apparent to me that this blog is greatly misguided. Most blogs seem to either be a running diary of people’s personal lives so that friends & family can keep up, some kind of instructional blog to help self improvement (i.e. recipes, DIY home improvement, recipes), political ranting or exploring human performance. This blog has always been about mapping brainwaves in response to various stimuli to try and recognize, hopefully plaid patterns of amber energy maybe with a burlap texture. And WHOOPS! that’s why NO ONE reads this blog! (“Did he really just say that?” you ask. Yes, yes I did.)
The question now is “What am I going to do about it?”. The answer lies in the specific boundaries of the vague category of “Conformity”. Psh. So basically you will read my blog if I:

  • Write coherently
  • Write about something you can relate to
  • Write about something you can use in your life
  • Write about something that will entertain or interest you

I’m gonna go with that last one & hope I will not need to drastically change NORYB. Think about it, if people did read this blog then I’d have to change the title to maybe “Some People Read Your Blog”. The irony is lost & thus the reason for the blog. Kind of. Just bear with me while I “think out loud” as it were…maybe “think in typing”. To make this more convoluted: I’m writing to entertain a small group of possibly British thinking (although I’m American), dry *humoristic people whose sense of humor fits with mine solely for the purpose of a really good hard laugh and maybe some tears. I say this with as much humility as possible: this blog achieves this for me. So I don’t know what that says about me? I think I’m funny? Is that OK? Or is that narcissistic? Well, fine…you may think I’m pretentious, but I don’t think so. I think I’m just working toward a humanity of laughing & thus peace. Do I suffer from delusions of grandeur? That’s for me to know and you to find out.
Please comment. I feel like I’m talking to the proverbial wall here…or in this case, computer monitor. Isn’t that the sure sign of someone who’s lost his mind? Talking to himself? (It should be noted those people are rarely talking to themselves per se – as many sane people do daily, rather they are talking to a figment of their imagination that appears very real to them…so WHO’S the insane one?)
The answer to that question is an emphatic ME!
Peace out yo.

*I made this word up and am open to suggests for a more well fitting “real” word. It’s OK if the real word is in another language.

Appendix A
Where Did This Come From?
The statement “plaid patterns of amber energy maybe with a burlap texture” appears to be random and under-girds the irony that pervades this blog. (Pure randomness isn’t really that funny & requires some sort of irony or tie to reality to be truly funny). So let me I have always thought it’d be interesting to “think outside the bun” in terms of how scientists map brainwaves & look for patterns. What if we combined graphic art with science? What kinds of patterns might be recognized with an artistic look?


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