Budget Cuts by Yurri Unicorn

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]

 

Both Elephants AND Donkeys know that U.S. National deficit is out of control (according to this real time calculator the debt goes up about $100K per second!!!). The thing is, no one knows how it got so high or how to fix it. So now all you ever hear in the news is about Budget Cuts. To sum it up I would say it like this: Dems want to cut nothing, Republicans want to cut everything. Well I propose a third animal, probably a clown. No that’s not an animal, how about a unicorn? This magical middle animal would know how to cut the maximum without costing people jobs & getting rid of things we NEED. The unicorn would be able to use his one “corn” to plug into the electrical box at public schools to give them free power. No more cutting teacher jobs. Another big issue is healthcare. Well this magic unicorn will go around the country through people’s chimney’s delivering free prescription meds. This way there is no need for Medicare/caid. The unicorn’s name is Yurri Unicorn. Yurry would also be able to give people sweet CHFA and FHA loans and offer first time home buyers NO DOWN PAYMENT! Inflation? Yurri’s “corn” will pop it! Ssssssssss. We should definitely vote Yurri president. YURRY UNICORN 2012!!!! He’s also perfect on non-budget related issues too! Here’s where he stands on major issues: Abortion: Mother get’s rights over body, child get’s right to life. Mothers not wanting children will get a restraining order on the child & the child has 9 months to move out. Same sex marriage: There’s a mentality among bachelor’s that marriage is the end of fun; “game over”. Well Yurry would wave his magic “corn” transferring these sentiments to all homosexuals. Then traditional marriages would last forever, and same sexes would not even want to get married! Fun for everyone! Defense: We all know what a unicorn would do about war! No more wars! How would America defend itself? you ask. Well, I don’t know. I’m sure Yurri can make a force field around the USA. Well anyway, you can see how this 3rd animal, standing between elephants & donkeys will fix the deficit & America. Vote for Yurri 2012!!

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