The Brain Fart

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]

 

OK, I have to write quickly because I have lots of real work to do! So read quickly to keep up!

The Brain Fart is a term you hear a lot, even though scientists have proven there is no “natural gasline” from the bowls to the cranial region. The closest approximation would be the the esophageal “throat pipe” which does carry gaseous air, but these are known as “burps” or “belches”. And no one’s ever heard of a “Brain Burp”.

The Brian FArt is a term used when people forget something important. There is a small “digestion” of a memory that happens and causes a bubble of gaseous air to form under the occipital lobes. The air pocket must escape and so it travels along the sulci until it finds escape through sinuses, the nasolacrimal duct or even through the ears.

Brain Farts usually come out of the eyes.

It is important to allow the “Fart” to happen. Trying to hold the air in has been known to rupture the Parietal Lobes and cause gas cramps (much like the “Brain Freeze”) in the Temporal Lobes. Once in 1946 a business man named Phineas Mauge tried to conceal his forgetfulness. The trapped air blew up his cerebral cortex like a balloon and fractured his scull from the inside. There is even a story, now relegated to myth, that a man in the early 20’s inadvertently held the Fart so hard that the resulting pressure on his Frontal Lobes caused his eyes to pop out.

The best way to avoid the Brain Fart is to keep your memory sharp! Fish oil is rumored to keep a memory sharp! So, remember, if you don’t want blow your brain to bits by stupidly forgetting things, eat a fish!

 

 

This story originally appeared here.

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