Leap Day Extra Time – Wednesday, February 29, 2012

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]

 

Happy Leap Day! Today is a magical sort of time when there are extra hours in the year! A whole 24 hours of spare time!
I’ve decided not to go to work as it will not matter! Instead I am using this time for things I always want to do but don’t have the time!
Here’s 24 things I hope to do with my spare hours:

  • Be a “shock jock”
  • Be a well known local musician
  • Run a half marathon
  • Learn to speak Chinese
  • Read a classic novel like maybe the Harry Potter series
  • Be a CIA agent
  • Make my movie “Motorcycle Cowboys”
  • Visit war torn Syria as a Western Journalist
  • Kill a Unicorn
  • Run with the bulls
  • Be a Navy SEAL
  • Eat monkey brains
  • Be an NFL quarterback
  • Be an NYC firefighter
  • Be a cop (preferably a robo-cop)
  • Hang out with the Ninja Turtles & eat pizza!!
  • Write a novel about a nerdy kid name Nestor who becomes ripped & then goes back & destroys everyone who made fun of him in high school. At the end he has a moral crisis of whether he should use his powers for good or evil.
  • Learn science
  • Survive in a remote area with nothing but a “bowie knife”
  • Go to space
  • Invent na “i”Something that will outsell Apple & Microsoft combined & then use the money to buy Google & Facebook
  • Hang out with friends & watch a movie
  • Learn to surf
  • Start my own cult

OK well I better get started, but I think I need to explain that last one a little bit (soon I will write the Cult’s holy book, but for now…) I have learned the scientific bond between the spiritual & the material as seen in the lacing of a tennis shoe & its relation to a DNA Helix. If one suspends their earthly material body in a deprivation tank for a period of 8 to 10 hours in a state of total darkness, followed by hanging from the ankles for 15 minutes in a white room, the resulting state of consciousness reveals to them significant views into the eternal caverns of the spiritual mind (all of this can be done “in-mind” as it were without the aid of physical tanks, etc.). I have seen a great many number of floating orbs of energy ruminating as the flow from a central point and the relay their rumination to me via telekinesis. I’m getting frustrated because you won’t believe me! Anyway I have learned very detailed information about EVERYTHING! I will laboriously begin to spell it out here:

A- Pointed on top & giving elation to digestive processes

 

a \’l hasan al ashari – to be disassociated with from here on out as his forthcoming life is a de-evolution into some kind of fungi

 

 

a a baranov – traded his beard for fur

aard-vark- should be pictured above every door frame at eqinox

ETC. (You get the idea)

Advertisements

What do you think??

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s