Diagnosis of RSO (9-26-12)

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]

 

Had a routine check up at the doctor the other day. He ended  up diagnosing what’s been causing a number of my aches & pains, restlessness, faux British accent, and a leftward tendency in gait. X Rays revealed a condition he called “Roto-skeletal Orthopediaitis” or  RSO. RSO effects 1 out of every 7 billion people. He said, to put it in simple terms my entire skeleton is sideways in compared with my body. (I think this what he was saying). Sure enough though, I have realized many details that coincide with his diagnosis:

• Contrarian thoughts and opinions.

• Having trouble sipping coffee without it dribbling down my lip.

• Running in circles to the left (mostly on the track around the football field)

• Sitting at my desk in a “C” position.

• Listening to obscure electronica on Pandora all day.

• Minor sleep apnea

• Excessive daydreaming

• Random burst of laughter not involving what you’d generally perceive as “funny”.

• Delusions of grandeur in ways only grandiose to me.

• Laundry

Luckily he said there is a drug I can get down at the Pharmacy called “Pluhseebough” (that’s probably not how you spell it). He also showed me some stretches I can do to try & correct my skeletal misplacement. One involves gripping a secure structure near me and turning really hard. Thanks for reading, friends! I should be doing OK in a month or two!

Would love your prayers & encouragement in my time of healing!

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