[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]
Had a routine check up at the doctor the other day. He ended up diagnosing what’s been causing a number of my aches & pains, restlessness, faux British accent, and a leftward tendency in gait. X Rays revealed a condition he called “Roto-skeletal Orthopediaitis” or RSO. RSO effects 1 out of every 7 billion people. He said, to put it in simple terms my entire skeleton is sideways in compared with my body. (I think this what he was saying). Sure enough though, I have realized many details that coincide with his diagnosis:
• Contrarian thoughts and opinions.
• Having trouble sipping coffee without it dribbling down my lip.
• Running in circles to the left (mostly on the track around the football field)
• Sitting at my desk in a “C” position.
• Listening to obscure electronica on Pandora all day.
• Minor sleep apnea
• Excessive daydreaming
• Random burst of laughter not involving what you’d generally perceive as “funny”.
• Delusions of grandeur in ways only grandiose to me.
Luckily he said there is a drug I can get down at the Pharmacy called “Pluhseebough” (that’s probably not how you spell it). He also showed me some stretches I can do to try & correct my skeletal misplacement. One involves gripping a secure structure near me and turning really hard. Thanks for reading, friends! I should be doing OK in a month or two!
Would love your prayers & encouragement in my time of healing!