News Points this April 5th Day of 2013

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]


Children with RSV urged to add a “P”

Kids suffering with this respiratory tract infection are said to feel much better if they would just “répondez s’il vous plaît” “Please Respond” to an invitation.

Gun Control Bills in Congress

Lawnmakers are trying to get stricter gun control measures set in place. It’s not clear what proponents of gun control expect these measures to accomplish in deterring gun violence. Perhaps some sort of “Cruise Control” mechanism that helps an inanimate object decide when a gun is being used improperly?

North Korea Suffers from “Napoleon Syndrome”

Taking from his father’s genes, Kim Jong Un has exhibited behaviors of men suffering from “Napoleon” or “Little Man” Syndrome. The psychological state refers to men, small in stature, trying to compensate for their smallness by acting in overly aggressive ways and making threats on much larger men they feel threatened by.

Recent statements by the North Korean government show a leader that feels threatened by his severe military inferiority trying to compensate by making threats to a country who, in response, could accidentally leave the North Korean nation a smoldering pile of debris.

Residents of Baghdad, Iraq have been seen making a “No no no, what the hell are you doing?” gesture toward North Korea.

When the U.S. was asked if they are concerned with North Korea’s threats, their response after a second of preoccupation with Afghanistan was “North Who? Oh, yeah yeah, them. Um…tell him I’m in a meeting & will get back to him when I can. For now tell her I have enough thin mints, thank you very much.”


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