An Open Letter to William P. Doughenbough

[Originally posted by Yosh at No One Reads Your Blog, a blog collaboration by the members of the band Jake Wilkinson’s Unicycle]


Dear Willy,

Long time no talk! I was going through some old photos and saw you in the background that one time we camping at Bear Lake and Rob got stupid drunk & put that squirrel suit on was jumping in the fire! Hahaha…he still has 3rd degree burns. Remember you & me was tryin’ to get the suit off but it just melted to his skin! HA!

Well anyway, how ya been? Still in New Mexico? Did you ever find that midget woman that ran off with your briefcase in Las Vegas after the National Clown Convention?

Things are good here. I’m still trying for the “thing” we talked about, haha. Another few paychecks &; I’ll be able to get enough gasoline, rope and bologna. However I will probably need to take a loan out for the bus and all the bubble wrap we’re gonna need. Did I tell you? Yeah we’re probably gonna have to get 2 tons of bubble wrap and bologna.

Well, write me back when you can. I know they don’t give you much break time in the dog food industry, but maybe one night when you’re not at Bula’s Big Beautiful Brothel or whatever that bar is, you can write back!



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