Current mood: pissed off
I haven’t really watched TV in about two years. I don’t have time for it and when I do, I feel like I am wasting so much time and that the reality shows are sucking the life out of me. The bad thing about not watching TV is that I don’t see any news either and don’t really know what’s going on in the world. So I started briefly perusing a news website every day. Man, this is really getting me down. It’s not so much the freaky and weird stuff, like the zookeeper who got his arm bit off by an alligator or the guy who had maggots in his head – or even the wars and conflicts constantly waging. What stirs up my “righteous” anger is the acts committed that can’t be anything other than pure evil. I know that vengeance is the Lord’s, but something in me wants revenge for the 5 year old girl that was thrown alive to an alligator, or the 3 women set on fire by one’s son, or the 18 month old that was slammed up against a door and the wall until dead by an 18 year old live-in boyfriend for “not listening”. Maybe it’s the testosterone in me but I visualize myself unexpectedly showing up at his house having just kicked his door down and subsequently ruining his day by sending him flying through the kitchen window courtesy of my fist to his jaw. I think about raiding a sex-trade camp and pulling the rug out from under the guys who run that operation. If I think about it too much it sets me on fire……
God’s wrath is often described as fire. I know God is a just God and as soon as I start to have “righteous” anger toward someone else, I remember that I am not innocent either. Maybe I haven’t been video taping child porn, but who’s to say I don’t deserve a combat boot to the face for what I’ve done? There is not one righteous, not one. I think God is showing me with my anger how he feels when we sin. I think he is also showing me that this tragedy called life needed something HUGE to fix it. Thank you Jesus.