“..to know you is hard…” ~Band of Horses, The Funeral.
To know you is actually one of the highest points of exhilaration in my life. Yes, you…I mean, if I do know you (& you didn’t stumble randomly across my blog on the internet). I have noticed that, in my life, I have met many people I was turned off by when I first met them, but then when I got to know them better I found something in them I didn’t see initially and then they started to grow on me.
To know you is hard, because you’ll likely disappoint me or make me mad, especially the more I know you. To know you is hard because the more I know you the more I need you in my life and you might move away (like so many of my friends have). Like I wrote once a long time ago- “when people leave my life I am sad for a time and then learn to live without them, but I have found they are never replaced and always welcome back”.
I think knowing people is of the highest order in the Maker’s grand design (just below knowing Him). And I want to know you more, though my own selfishness gets in the way. One of my favorite things in life is when, all of the sudden, it comes to me – a recognition of something in you that is unique to you. Suddenly I look forward to seeing you again so you’ll do that “thing” again or whatever.
I was reading a Sherlock Holmes book recently and as Holmes surveyed the scene of the crime, he exercised his infamous ability to observe even the tiniest detail and store it in his mental filing cabinet. He would keep all of these fragments of information about the victim and try to paint a picture of the possible suspect. While the police would gloss over the ashes of a cigar on the coffee table, Holmes was using them to build an image of the perpetrator: these were special cigars from India and so the murderer would likely be someone who was in India recently.
As Holmes carefully observed every square inch of the murder scene, I wondered what he might find at my house. What kind of person would I come across as to the great detective? What if I was a suspect in the crime? What kinds of artifacts generated by my daily living would excuse me as a suspect? There would be letters from a friend in prison, from my cousin, books in my book case, drawings and paintings everywhere that might help put together a picture of who I am. Of course there’s my laptop with thousands of pictures and writings that would probably be the most telling of it all.
I started to realize I really liked the idea of someone wanting to know me that bad (especially a possible future wife). I also realized my desire to be known outweighs my desire to know others. This is probably a sign of my selfishness. Most importantly though, I think seeing this in myself helps me realize that you probably would love to be known like that too. And where do we get this intense desire to be known?
As with all things that are pure and good, I believe this to be from God. I believe it is part of what is meant in Genesis when it says we are made in His image. I believe God wants more than anything, to be known and He reveals parts of who He is in millions of different ways scattered all over our universe. We, like Sherlock Holmes, are obliged to see, record, remember, observe, hear, feel; to know.