On a dark and cold January night I was sitting in my room in my neck brace a month or so after I broke my neck and had surgery. The phone rang, it was mom. Trying to hide emotion, she stated as matter-of-factly as she could, “I got my tests back….it’s cancer again.” It’s moments like that when the world stops and you can’t figure what to say to even finish the conversation. When I did say bye, there was some kind of built up emotion in me…it needed to come out somehow. My roommate was in the living room and so I grabbed my big coat and took off down the frosty street. I needed to be alone to let the tears fall. Not again, why God? WHY? Why her? HASN’T SHE HAD ENOUGH? This was mom’s 4th or 5th time (it depends on whether you count benign tumors and stuff) facing cancer. How much longer can her body keep up fighting this stuff?
When Jesus heard that his cousin John had been beheaded he took off for a lonely place. This is one of my favorite things about Jesus. He was a real person and He faced many sorrows in His short life on earth. He just wanted to get away and process what He just found out. He would have to put all that on hold for a bit, though, because one of His miracles that would echo through eternity was about to happen.
It’s crazy how easily and quickly I forget how powerful the scripture is. Man, though, when I read this today it just sent shivers down my spine.
All the sudden tons of people showed up..thousands! He could have gone and hid, He had some serious grieving to do, but He had compassion on the people. People needed food and instead of sending people to get some, this was an opportune time for Jesus to display His power. I love how so far in the book of Matthew its like Jesus’ identity is emerging, it’s building. And now He takes the few fish and pieces of bread they had on hand and blesses it and not only does He feed thousands and thousands of people, there are baskets of left overs!
When all that was done, the disciples took off in a boat and now Jesus finally had time to go and grieve and pray. I think He prayed through most of the night & then decided to go meet up with the disciples just before dawn. Instead of finding another boat or whatever, He just decides to walk out to them! When they see Him they’re freaked out because He looks like ghost. I love when Jesus is teaching us stuff because it’s almost always counter-intuitive or unexpected. We’re always freaking out and He’s always saying “Shhh….don’t be afraid, watch.”
Peter, for a quick moment actually has faith and then wants Jesus to let him try some water walking too. Just like I would imagine any of us doing, when he gets out of the boat normal life and logic say “You sink when you get in water” and so he does. So Peter goes under the water and Jesus helps him out saying “You of little faith!”
At that moment I’m there in the dark night on this boat with all these guys and we’ve just seen this guy, who’s already been doing and saying so many amazing things, we’ve just seen him WALK ON WATER!
Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying,
“Truly you are the Son of God.”
Amazing when that happens in the heart of a human being. It is the crux of humanity and existence on this planet.
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Listen to Titan Dream by Two Steps from Hell