Girls, Please Stop with the Leggings

Please Help

Please, all females, help me out here. You know what I’m talking about: the fad/trend of wearing leggings/yoga pants/tights (I’m not really sure how these differ but they all fit with my plea), as pants alone. Look, I KNOW (at least from what I’m told) they’re comfortable. And I realize they’re IN right now. And I know you can get them in all the funkiest cool designs from galaxies and Aztec patterns to leopard and zebra print. But,  could you please, in public, wear them with something else? Like a long shirt or a skirt? Basically, pretend like you’re walking around naked if you don’t. Because like it or not, right or wrong, that’s close to how we guys see you.

I Know, I Know, It’s MY Problem

Now I know this is a heated topic. “I should be able to wear whatever I want,” you may say in rebuttal. “It’s not my problem you can’t control your lusting,” you may scream. And on & on. I’ve heard plenty of reasons in support of the trend. But here’s the catch: you’re right. You SHOULD be able to wear what you want and it’s NOT your fault it causes us to lust. And that’s why all I can do is ask, please, please help a brotha out. Actually not just ‘a’ brother, but all of us. I’m willing to bet 100% of all heterosexual men are struggling with this issue.

Is it a Sin to Wear Leggings as Pants?

You’re probably thinking I’m some old fashioned ‘Bible Thumper ‘ who thinks all women should practically wear burkas everywhere and that it’s a sin to show any skin. Well, this is a tricky subject. In fact, if you’re not a Christian and don’t believe the Bible as authority…well, I have nothing to give you. Even if you are a Christian, I have no verse to show you exactly what is and isn’t OK. So let me give you an analogy that might help clear things up:

Would it be it be wrong to wear a raw meat necklace? (Bear with me here) Would it be wrong to wear a hat made of juicy tenderloins? Weird, sure – but not wrong. Would it be wrong to go for a hike in your strange fashion? No. Even a hike where you knew there were wolves and other wild animals? ‘Aw look at the cute little wolf puppy’, you say as he comes up sniffing you and licking your wrist where you sprayed meat perfume. See where I’m going? Now you’re on board with me. It’s not wrong, just incredibly risky. The wolves are going to eat you alive. Here’s a phrase I have really latched on to when discussing issues of legalism vs freedom: “Maybe its not a sin, but- is it wise?”.

God made men & women very different in so many ways. I don’t know why He chose to make men so much more visually aroused than women, but in my life experience, most women don’t have the slightest clue how powerfully we men are sexually aroused through our eyes. My fiancee, in an effort to help me out said she would refrain from wearing them because ‘I know you don’t like them’. I had to clarify, ‘Babe, it’s not because I don’t like them. On the contrary- I like them too much!’.  ‘Not my husband/boyfriend’ you might say. *Uh hem*, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if he hasn’t told you he struggles with this, either 1)You haven’t had a good talk about this, 2)He’s lying or 3)You’re in a relationship with an android.

Please Revert to Burlap Sacks

Just kidding! Sheesh, that look you just gave me burnt a hole in the atmosphere. But I have seen where the female’s side of this goes. “May I wear make up, do my hair, wear high heels, shorts, or a what about a swim suit (one piece)” and “So…. women are discouraged from wearing: swim suits, contacts, make up, nail polish, leotards, pants, shirts, shoes with any heel, leather coats, braces (which make beautiful teeth), or wear jewelry. And we may not dance, walk, swim, hug, stretch, run, workout, or bend over.” (I will keep her anonymous unless she’s OK with me citing her). Of course you can! In fact, her sister, chiming in on a heated Facebook thread said it very well: “There’s a difference between drawing attention to your body/sexuality/whatever and ENHANCING your BEAUTY“. There’s kind of grey area here, isn’t there? I’m more & more realizing how the line is blurred, especially for women. While us guys are thinking ‘How could she not realize she’s walking around naked with her pants painted on?’ or ‘Man, I think she’s trying to turn me/us on’. (And by ‘turn on’, I mean it in the strongest sense.)

This is where the issue will take talking with your man (or if you’re single maybe a trusted man like your father, or a pastor or guy friends, maybe.) Try to see through his eyes (He should also be trying to see things through your eyes about your struggles, but that’s another topic). Ask yourself: “Is this outfit good looking and enhancing my beauty? Or is it making me sexy?”. Obviously this entire topic is more than just leggings. It has to do with every way a woman presents herself. Do you think much of your ‘beauty enhancement’, like makeup, is making a guy -pardon my crassness- horny? Do you think your contacts are arousing him? I saw this picture online somewhere and, while I realize the lines are very subjective, it seems to be a fairly good guide:

odd_skirt_viral

Classiness is Key

I’ve discovered a curious thing in my battle against lusting after women. And that is there is a place between the burka and the bikini and that is a place I call ‘Classy’. I have observed many women in this place and thought ‘Wow, she is good looking’ or even ‘She is HOT’ and amazingly its a place where my mind isn’t instantly taken to a place of lust or sexual fantasy with her. Its like I can actually appreciate her beauty and even be powerfully attracted to her, but stop there, where I should. (Maybe not all guys agree on this, especially on what is or isn’t classy) Remember, I fully admit, this stopping place is where I SHOULD stop no matter how she is dressed. However, with the ‘Classy’ girl, it is so, so, so much easier.

Does a Girl Need to Burn All Her Leggings?

Public is the key word here. Believe me, we guys want to see you in your sexy clothes every bit as much as you want to wear them. The thing is, we (especially Christian guys, because we believe purity in us, is what God wants) want to have eyes only for our woman (and I know that’s what you want from us). So when you walk around in public, dressed sexy, there is ALWAYS some guy out there seeing you, who has a girlfriend, a fiancee, or a wife and for that moment that he sees your sexiness, and his eyes and his thoughts are pulled toward you and not his own girl.

And: Dear Church Girl, good grief. All this applies DOUBLY at church. When I’m trying to focus on God, my weak little mind is just ruined when you come to church dressed for the night club.

Believe me, it pains me to tell you stop something that is so good looking to me. And guys who disagree with me or don’t believe God’s plan is for monogamy and purity, they want to put duct tape over my mouth and chain me inside a dungeon. Like my tirade on fake boobs (https://rawar.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/boobies/) they want to yell “JOSH! SHUT UP!”.

So can I ask this of you? In public, can you think of leggings as being basically naked, and cover accordingly? At home, after marriage, (I’m looking at you fiancee), please, by all means, break out the leggings!

Does it Go Both Ways?

I don’t know, you tell me. I don’t think it does, at least not to the same extent. I don’t know of any sort of men’s public, daily, fashion that is causing women to stumble like this. If it was fashionable (*shudders*) for a guy to wear something as tight and revealing as leggings, I don’t even think that would turn most women on. I don’t know, but if it did- I would like to think I’d hear the plea of women saying ‘Please, its arousing but, please cover up’. And if there is some equivalent to this for you ladies, please- inform us!

Honest Question (Addition for those who disagree with my view on this)

As fashion changes over the years, we can all agree that clothing has become more and more revealing right? Let’s say the trend continues in this direction (as I believe it probably will). Let’s say one day a college girl showed up to class in a t-shirt and her panties. What would your thought and reactions be? Do you believe there is a point when its gone too far? Do we all agree that would immodest? If yes, then why? If no, then I really don’t know what to say.

At what point is it immodest to walk around in public?
At what point is it immodest to walk around in public?

[Addendum]

In case you’re thinking ‘Gosh, Josh, why are you such a perv?’ and don’t believe me that “100% of all heterosexual men are struggling with this issue.”, here are anonymous quotes from my guy friends:

[In a conversation where me & a buddy are helping each other with accountability]: “The most frustrating thing to me is yoga pants. They are everywhere, and women have no idea what it does to us”

I have no say so over other women but I do not let my wife wear leggings or yoga pants out in public unless covered up with a long shirt, dress…etc.

It it very hard for us guys ladies. Honestly, I like when you wear tight Yoga pants or jeans or tight whatever. It’s pleasurable to look at & without self control & strength from God, very easy for our minds to wander deeper. So for our sake, modesty is very helpful.”

I understand where you are coming from, ______when you talk about yoga pants, etc. being a catalyst for sinful thoughts.”

“Heck, I got full on called an A**hole by a woman for admitting that I had this very issue. Not a safe environment that person. It’s an issue for us because…it’s an issue. We can fake not having the problem especially from those near and dear to us who could be harmed by the fact that we have an issue. We can have good days, good stretches of self control, but there’s always that sense that it’s just biding it’s time, waiting in the bushes for the right moment to pounce”

“There is a significant difference between a women in jeans and a women in Yoga pants…and thats the ability to more clearly view the woman form.”

“I’m a very happily married man and I am tired of constantly being tempted to look at your yoga ass”
“What the difference between girls in yoga pants and girls in body paint? Not much…”

Matt Walsh, always doing a bang up job: http://www.theblaze.com/contributions/hey-look-that-woman-is-trying-to-be-modest-lets-all-laugh-at-her-and-call-her-names/

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10 thoughts on “Girls, Please Stop with the Leggings

  1. Josh, I’m not friends with you on Facebook, so I can’t comment on your post there, but it showed up in my Newsfeed, and I had to come here and say something. I know we have disagreed on things in the past, but I really, really can’t believe your stance on this. As Kari said, this is 100% blame and shame.

    You compare wearing leggings to walking around with raw meat on your neck in front of wild animals. Number one: men are NOT wild animals. Being “genetically hard-wired to be visual creatures” does not give you an excuse to override your self-control and turn into slobbering beasts. You are, above all, a human, and with that comes self-control and free will.

    Secondly, meat is food to a wild animal, and is necessary for their survival. A girl’s arse is not necessary for your survival. There’s a difference between want and need, so that “wild animal pull” you feel when you see a girl in yoga pants? That’s a want; it’s the same feeling I get when I walk past Tiffany’s, and it’s an urge that you feel, you recognise, and then you move on. If it’s a stronger feeling than that, I think there’s a worryingly deeper issue there!

    Thirdly, take a step back and look at your article as a whole; on a very basic level, you are blaming women for your lack of self-control. That’s only a few disturbingly small steps away from this: http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/asia-pacific/india/140129/india-womans-fault-getting-raped-says-female-politician.

    It’s one thing to say, this is something I struggle with, please hold me accountable as my friends (i.e., don’t bring the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition over to my house, etc.) but it’s another to say to women as a whole, this is something I’m personally tempted with, and I think I have the right to demand that you change yourself to accommodate my weakness.

    If you want to claim that you’re a wild animal who can’t resist your urges, perhaps a pair of blinders might be an appropriate investment?

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  2. Why does it matter what direction fashion is going? The problem with this whole outlook is that you are asking the world to change because you can’t handle it. That is not how it goes, plain and simple. The problem with this is your “study” and your “friends.” They are from the inside of those church walls. You are looking at people who cannot express true sin. Nor can they understand true sin. If they could, you would probably be writing about drug addiction, or something that actually is a REAL world problem. Your church convictions and how the church handles sexuality…(THEY DONT) is why this is an issue for yourself and the people you have discussed this with. I walk around campus every day Monday through Friday, the amount of women wearing yoga pants is probably a very high percentage (As a 26 year old male who is a fan of sex, and women) that has never once impaired my ability to think clearly. I am sorry but if you think that eliminating yoga pants will help you overcome a sexual sin….something else is going to take its place. FIx the reaction, not the action.

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  3. Very well put Regina. Josh, at what point do you see a woman’s body as anything more than a piece of meat used merely for your own sexual gratification? And honestly, your “honest” question answers just made your post that much more disturbing. Especially that last answer, down right frightening.

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  4. Josh, to answer your question, I agree that our dress code has gotten more and more provocative. It wasn’t all that long ago that bikinis were unheard of. Just like any sin, we are exposed slowly so as to desensitize our convictions. I wouldn’t worry too much about those insulting remarks about your sexual appetite. According to my husband and many men we have talked to, you are VERY normal. Most people out there just don’t get it or are too proud to admit they are just like you. They have been blinded. And I must admit, even when I get it, it doesn’t become any easier for me as a woman to dress with these things in mind. Old habit are hard to break. Most women are ignorant to the way men’s minds operate…thus the inflammatory comments. I only know this because of the intensely honest conversations with my husband and family on this topic. And one book that every woman should read, Created To Be His Helpmeet. It has changed my whole world view. Please keep writing posts like this. It helps people who may be secretly struggling just like you but who might be too afraid to put this out there (you get a lot of abuse when you admit these things), and also because now they know the truth. They may continue to deny the truth because of the hardness of their hearts, but now they have no excuse on that Day. “And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall grow cold.” Matt. 24:12

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  5. Coleen, I’m absolutely not ignorant to the way a man’s mind works. I realise that a guy sees a girl in tight leggings/short skirt/low cut top, etc., and will notice if she’s attractive. Where we disagree, I think, is what is wrong with that scenario. I don’t think noticing that a girl is pretty/cute/hot/has a nice ass, etc. is wrong. I think it’s a sign of a healthy sex drive and an appreciation of the female body, which I simply can’t find a fault with. If a guy takes his thoughts beyond, “She’s hot!”, then, again, I think that’s the sign of an unhealthy obsession, which is a personal issue and one that absolutely cannot be blamed on women as a whole! (Note: not insinuating that Josh has a problem in this area; he doesn’t say where the thoughts stop for him, and that’s his right to keep that to himself!) I’m just saying that, should you take those thoughts further into a full-blown fantasy, that’s when it becomes an issue. Guys, if you don’t think like that, then by all means, please continue to notice the beauty around you and stop beating yourselves up about it!

    RE: the fashion question. I think imagining that girls will go to class in their pants in a few years is a bit of a stretch. Fashion is cyclical, and always has been. When I was in school, the 70’s were cool, recently it was the 80’s, and now we’re back to the 90’s (think crop tops and denim overalls). There will always be places where it will be acceptable to be more scantily clad than others (the beach, nightclubs, etc.) but I don’t think it will ever be appropriate to go to class in your pants!

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  6. Your mature, responsible, wise, loving, selfless, exemplary, Christ-like values and beliefs give me hope for millennials, Josh.

    Sadly, girls have been wearing bikinis while running cross-country, track and marathons for years.

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  7. Re9in2, I believe if Jesus were to comment on this thread it would go something like this:
    “Guys, keep your mind and heart pure. You will stand before me and give an account of all your thoughts and actions. Do not fall into temptation. Lusting after a woman means you are sinning. Learn to divert your eyes and practice self-control.”

    “Ladies, I made men in a way you may never quite understand. Some of them are more sensitive than others to the power of your beauty. They all have varying lusts, one of which can be your body. Please do your best to keep this in mind when going out in public. For instance, don’t eat meat ever again if it stumbles even ONE person.”

    “Therefore, if food makes my brother to stumble, I will eat no meat while the world stands, lest I make my brother to stumble.” 1 Cor. 8:13

    “but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.…” Matt. 5:28

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  8. I will say it here and on the blog, before you start calling people out on how they should dress and comment as “Christians” I suggest you go take at look at your own photos on facebook and see how you have been portraying yourselves. Does the same go for bikinis on a beach? Juuuuuuuust curious?? I love the Beach Babes For Jesus Pictures!!! I am done on this topic now that I know that I have been discussing it with complete hypocrits!

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