Please, all females, help me out here. You know what I’m talking about: the fad/trend of wearing leggings/yoga pants/tights (I’m not really sure how these differ but they all fit with my plea), as pants alone. Look, I KNOW (at least from what I’m told) they’re comfortable. And I realize they’re IN right now. And I know you can get them in all the funkiest cool designs from galaxies and Aztec patterns to leopard and zebra print. But, could you please, in public, wear them with something else? Like a long shirt or a skirt? Basically, pretend like you’re walking around naked if you don’t. Because like it or not, right or wrong, that’s close to how we guys see you.
I Know, I Know, It’s MY Problem
Now I know this is a heated topic. “I should be able to wear whatever I want,” you may say in rebuttal. “It’s not my problem you can’t control your lusting,” you may scream. And on & on. I’ve heard plenty of reasons in support of the trend. But here’s the catch: you’re right. You SHOULD be able to wear what you want and it’s NOT your fault it causes us to lust. And that’s why all I can do is ask, please, please help a brotha out. Actually not just ‘a’ brother, but all of us. I’m willing to bet 100% of all heterosexual men are struggling with this issue.
Is it a Sin to Wear Leggings as Pants?
You’re probably thinking I’m some old fashioned ‘Bible Thumper ‘ who thinks all women should practically wear burkas everywhere and that it’s a sin to show any skin. Well, this is a tricky subject. In fact, if you’re not a Christian and don’t believe the Bible as authority…well, I have nothing to give you. Even if you are a Christian, I have no verse to show you exactly what is and isn’t OK. So let me give you an analogy that might help clear things up:
Would it be it be wrong to wear a raw meat necklace? (Bear with me here) Would it be wrong to wear a hat made of juicy tenderloins? Weird, sure – but not wrong. Would it be wrong to go for a hike in your strange fashion? No. Even a hike where you knew there were wolves and other wild animals? ‘Aw look at the cute little wolf puppy’, you say as he comes up sniffing you and licking your wrist where you sprayed meat perfume. See where I’m going? Now you’re on board with me. It’s not wrong, just incredibly risky. The wolves are going to eat you alive. Here’s a phrase I have really latched on to when discussing issues of legalism vs freedom: “Maybe its not a sin, but- is it wise?”.
God made men & women very different in so many ways. I don’t know why He chose to make men so much more visually aroused than women, but in my life experience, most women don’t have the slightest clue how powerfully we men are sexually aroused through our eyes. My fiancee, in an effort to help me out said she would refrain from wearing them because ‘I know you don’t like them’. I had to clarify, ‘Babe, it’s not because I don’t like them. On the contrary- I like them too much!’. ‘Not my husband/boyfriend’ you might say. *Uh hem*, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if he hasn’t told you he struggles with this, either 1)You haven’t had a good talk about this, 2)He’s lying or 3)You’re in a relationship with an android.
Please Revert to Burlap Sacks
Just kidding! Sheesh, that look you just gave me burnt a hole in the atmosphere. But I have seen where the female’s side of this goes. “May I wear make up, do my hair, wear high heels, shorts, or a what about a swim suit (one piece)” and “So…. women are discouraged from wearing: swim suits, contacts, make up, nail polish, leotards, pants, shirts, shoes with any heel, leather coats, braces (which make beautiful teeth), or wear jewelry. And we may not dance, walk, swim, hug, stretch, run, workout, or bend over.” (I will keep her anonymous unless she’s OK with me citing her). Of course you can! In fact, her sister, chiming in on a heated Facebook thread said it very well: “There’s a difference between drawing attention to your body/sexuality/whatever and ENHANCING your BEAUTY“. There’s kind of grey area here, isn’t there? I’m more & more realizing how the line is blurred, especially for women. While us guys are thinking ‘How could she not realize she’s walking around naked with her pants painted on?’ or ‘Man, I think she’s trying to turn me/us on’. (And by ‘turn on’, I mean it in the strongest sense.)
This is where the issue will take talking with your man (or if you’re single maybe a trusted man like your father, or a pastor or guy friends, maybe.) Try to see through his eyes (He should also be trying to see things through your eyes about your struggles, but that’s another topic). Ask yourself: “Is this outfit good looking and enhancing my beauty? Or is it making me sexy?”. Obviously this entire topic is more than just leggings. It has to do with every way a woman presents herself. Do you think much of your ‘beauty enhancement’, like makeup, is making a guy -pardon my crassness- horny? Do you think your contacts are arousing him? I saw this picture online somewhere and, while I realize the lines are very subjective, it seems to be a fairly good guide:
Classiness is Key
I’ve discovered a curious thing in my battle against lusting after women. And that is there is a place between the burka and the bikini and that is a place I call ‘Classy’. I have observed many women in this place and thought ‘Wow, she is good looking’ or even ‘She is HOT’ and amazingly its a place where my mind isn’t instantly taken to a place of lust or sexual fantasy with her. Its like I can actually appreciate her beauty and even be powerfully attracted to her, but stop there, where I should. (Maybe not all guys agree on this, especially on what is or isn’t classy) Remember, I fully admit, this stopping place is where I SHOULD stop no matter how she is dressed. However, with the ‘Classy’ girl, it is so, so, so much easier.
Does a Girl Need to Burn All Her Leggings?
Public is the key word here. Believe me, we guys want to see you in your sexy clothes every bit as much as you want to wear them. The thing is, we (especially Christian guys, because we believe purity in us, is what God wants) want to have eyes only for our woman (and I know that’s what you want from us). So when you walk around in public, dressed sexy, there is ALWAYS some guy out there seeing you, who has a girlfriend, a fiancee, or a wife and for that moment that he sees your sexiness, and his eyes and his thoughts are pulled toward you and not his own girl.
And: Dear Church Girl, good grief. All this applies DOUBLY at church. When I’m trying to focus on God, my weak little mind is just ruined when you come to church dressed for the night club.
Believe me, it pains me to tell you stop something that is so good looking to me. And guys who disagree with me or don’t believe God’s plan is for monogamy and purity, they want to put duct tape over my mouth and chain me inside a dungeon. Like my tirade on fake boobs (https://rawar.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/boobies/) they want to yell “JOSH! SHUT UP!”.
So can I ask this of you? In public, can you think of leggings as being basically naked, and cover accordingly? At home, after marriage, (I’m looking at you fiancee), please, by all means, break out the leggings!
Does it Go Both Ways?
I don’t know, you tell me. I don’t think it does, at least not to the same extent. I don’t know of any sort of men’s public, daily, fashion that is causing women to stumble like this. If it was fashionable (*shudders*) for a guy to wear something as tight and revealing as leggings, I don’t even think that would turn most women on. I don’t know, but if it did- I would like to think I’d hear the plea of women saying ‘Please, its arousing but, please cover up’. And if there is some equivalent to this for you ladies, please- inform us!
Honest Question (Addition for those who disagree with my view on this)
As fashion changes over the years, we can all agree that clothing has become more and more revealing right? Let’s say the trend continues in this direction (as I believe it probably will). Let’s say one day a college girl showed up to class in a t-shirt and her panties. What would your thought and reactions be? Do you believe there is a point when its gone too far? Do we all agree that would immodest? If yes, then why? If no, then I really don’t know what to say.
In case you’re thinking ‘Gosh, Josh, why are you such a perv?’ and don’t believe me that “100% of all heterosexual men are struggling with this issue.”, here are anonymous quotes from my guy friends:
[In a conversation where me & a buddy are helping each other with accountability]: “The most frustrating thing to me is yoga pants. They are everywhere, and women have no idea what it does to us”
“I have no say so over other women but I do not let my wife wear leggings or yoga pants out in public unless covered up with a long shirt, dress…etc. ”
“It it very hard for us guys ladies. Honestly, I like when you wear tight Yoga pants or jeans or tight whatever. It’s pleasurable to look at & without self control & strength from God, very easy for our minds to wander deeper. So for our sake, modesty is very helpful.”
“I understand where you are coming from, ______when you talk about yoga pants, etc. being a catalyst for sinful thoughts.”
“Heck, I got full on called an A**hole by a woman for admitting that I had this very issue. Not a safe environment that person. It’s an issue for us because…it’s an issue. We can fake not having the problem especially from those near and dear to us who could be harmed by the fact that we have an issue. We can have good days, good stretches of self control, but there’s always that sense that it’s just biding it’s time, waiting in the bushes for the right moment to pounce”
“There is a significant difference between a women in jeans and a women in Yoga pants…and thats the ability to more clearly view the woman form.”
Matt Walsh, always doing a bang up job: http://www.theblaze.com/contributions/hey-look-that-woman-is-trying-to-be-modest-lets-all-laugh-at-her-and-call-her-names/