Untitled story about Daniel 1992

Rough Draft

“My hair is a mess!” cried Daniel as he brushed his light brown hair. Daniel’s voice crackled and then he put on some deodorant and then he put his new jean jacket on. He had just woke up at the motel he spent the night at in Denver Colorado. (Motel in I Denver 1992) He packed what little he had, go in his truck and left to go get something to eat. Driving down the road he passes a friend of his, Ricky. He waves and pulls into a local McDonalds. The aroma of hotcakes fills the air. As he walks to the door he bumps into a short guy with glasses and long hair. The short guy feels nothing but solid muscle. He goes in hungrily.

Final Draft

“Boy am I hungry!” cried Daniel as he woke up at the “Motel 6” he had spent the night in.

“I’ve gotta get dressed and get some food!” After Daniel was dressed he got into his “75” Chevy and drove to a local McDonalds. On his way to the door he bumped into a short blond guy with glasses. The short guy felt nothing but solid muscle. Daniel proceeded in.

“Give me three hotcakes and two milks.”

“That’ll be $1.59, sir,” replied the cashier. The aroma of hotcakes filled the air. When Daniel was done, he went to a gas station to fuel up. He was paying when suddenly,

“Give me all your money!” a robber shouted then pointed a gun at Daniel and said “Get down on the floor!” Daniel did as he said.

“Now, you’ve got five chances to open the safe!” shouted the burglar to the man at the counter. Daniel snuck over to the burglar and tackled him.

“Thank goodness for being in football!” he commented. The man fell to the floor and Daniel pulled his mask off.

“Hey, I know you,” Daniel was looking into the face of the short guy. It did seem like he was in a hurry at McDonalds. When Daniel had tackled him he dropped the gun. The gun smelled like it had been fired recently. Daniel picked up the short guy and the man at the counter called 911. After the police had taken the man, they thanked Daniel and Daniel was on the news. Unfortunately the short guy was part of a conspiracy and some of the guys involved saw the news. The men hunted Daniel down. When they finally found Daniel, he was sleeping.

“Hey, who are you and what are you doing?!” The men said nothing and brought Daniel to a place he had never seen before, well he couldn’t see much anyway because it was dark. He could tell he was in some sort of dungeon chained to a wall. He stayed there for hours, he got hungry and there was nothing to eat. Daniel figured that the men were angry at him and were going to let him starve to death. More hours passed and these hours turned into day. The hunger pains were unbearable. But Daniel’s urge to survive kept him going.

Finally one day, about seven days later, the entrance to the dungeon lit up and Daniel saw a figure, then two, then three figures. At first he thought they were the men but he recognized the Denver Police badges on their shirts. They freed Daniel and put him in a police car. On the way back to Denver a police officer explained  what the men were up to. Daniel had survived seven days without food.

The next day, Daniel went to McDonalds and got ten hotcakes.



The Mystery Murder at Egor’s Mansion

(Ghost Story Award Winner)

October 17, 1991

John, 11, Daniel, 12 and Rickey, 13, were hired as junior police in January 1991. It is October 17, 1991 when the phone rings at John’s house.

“Hi, John, this is Chief Sheperd. There has been a murder at that, a- Egor’s Mansion. But…”

“Ya, I know whatch’ mean, the house has been abandoned since the 1800’s!”

“I want you, Daniel and Ricky to investigate.” With that, John quickly hung up the phone, and picked it back up and dialed up Daniel and Ricky. Both the other boys had caught on and met John at the Denver City Park on their bikes.

“O.K., you all know what Chief Sheperd said, let’s go investigate!” cried John. The kids hopped on to their bikes and hurried to the mansion. When they got there, they saw another house off to the side, where the murder was probably reported. They proceeded into the mansion. To their surprise they saw the murder victim lying by the window. Trembling, they heard a tape recording that must have been triggered by them opening the door. It said “Get out of the house NOW!” Daniel quickly took a glance at his watch, 8:00.

“Don’t listen to it, we must find the murderer!” snapped Ricky. The house was old and eerie, but that didn’t bother the boys.

“Guys, we’re going to have to split-up,” said Daniel.

“Good idea!” John said. In the house there was an up-stairs, a main floor and a basement. Daniel went up-stairs, Ricky stayed on the main floor, and John went downstairs. Daniel saw some clothes at the top of the stairs with a message written on them. “Help…” read Daniel. He went on into the bathroom, nothing. He looked in a bedroom, nothing.

Meanwhile Ricky was in the kitchen, he checked all the places he could think of for clues. John checked all downstairs and found nothing. Ricky and John ran upstairs when they hears Daniel’s yelling: “Guys, come up here!” When they got upstairs, they found Daniel standing by a closet opened, on the inside of the closet door was a note pinned up by a bloody knife. It said “Where I am has to do with a dark place full of bottles of wine.”

“Sounds like a cellar to me!” exclaimed Ricky.

“You’re not the only one who thinks that!” said John.

“Let’s look for the cellar in the basement,” commented Daniel.

On their way down John said, “When I was down here a while ago I saw a door, I didn’t get a chance too look in it because you called, Daniel. It had steam coming out from under it.”

“Well, that’s where we’ll be checking first!” exclaimed Ricky. By now the three were down in the basement.

John stepped forward and opened the door. Suddenly out of the dark came a huge figure, glowing like the sun bouncing off the snow.

“A ghost!” shouted all three at once. At that moment they all knew he was the murderer because of blood stains all over him. The ghost chased them upstairs to the main floor and out the door. They hopped on to their bikes and rode to the Police station where they told chief Sheperd about everything that had happened.

The next day was a busy one. John, Daniel and Ricky were awarded a medal for bravery.

“Well guys, should we call the Ghost Busters?!” Daniel joked. Later that day the three went to the library to check out some books. There was one book that was very interesting to Daniel: “The Almanac of Ghost Stories” Daniel flipped the page where there was a table of contents, he read on: “Ah, here it is, The Ghost Murderer, page 213,” Daniel quickly flipped to it. “This ghost is dangerous and should be left alone. This ghost was first found out about in 1820 when a particular house was built on the outskirts of Denver, Colorado.”

The End

The Sorrowful Bird a tragic myth by Josh Anderson (1997 or 98?)


The idea of “The Sorrowful Bird” came to me in a dream. Of course dreams never make any sense so when I woke up I immediately began piecing the dream together to make it into this short story.

To say that the king and queen of  Talabus lived happily together was certainly appropriate. Their reign over the land was in fact so compatible with their own people and even their surrounding countries that their had not been a war fought since Actar was crowned king.

King Actar and Queen Sieena were very much in love. Their daughter, Princess Courtney was eight years old and seemed to never be discontent with her parents. They had a dog named Kraft.

Actar was a friendly ruler, a king who would spend time with his people any chance he got but not putting them before his family.

The castle was not remote but actually within the city’s largest neighborhood. It was kept up by Roknow the butler. He would mow the lawn one day of the week and clean the first floor the next day. The following day he would clean the second floor and so on until he reached the master bedroom that sat on the very top of the mansion as its seventh floor.

It was in this city-overlooking room where Roknow would step out onto the balcony and enjoy the view. There was one old mansion directly across the street from Actar’s castle. It was disturbing to Roknow. No one was sure if anyone lived there or not, but if there were inhabitants, they didn’t care to keep up the old place. It had five floors and unlike the stone and marble of Actar’s castle, it was built of weather-beaten wood.

Roknow got shivers when he looked into the glassless windows. They were always dark, even in midday. There was always the feeling that there was someone or something in there looking out at you. The trees around the place never bloomed and were in fact dead but never fell.

Roknow brought his concern to the king. “My King, I am troubled by the house across the street. I think it only proper that we have it removed,”

“Roknow, my servant, someone lives there I believe. We cannot take the home of  a living person!”

“Your majesty, I’m not sure it is a person that lives there! Whatever it is, its surly not good for your righteous kingdom!”

Perhaps the decision of Actar to not destroy the old house was his greatest mistake as king. He would never know the folly of this decision though. Several days after Roknow made his request is when it all began.

Actar got into bed next to Sieena and turned his lamp on to read a book as he ritualistically did every night. He opened the thousand page book to somewhere in the begging and as soon as he started to read the phone rang.

Sieena who had been reading the Talabus Chronicle sighed and said “Ac, will you get that my dear?”

The phone rang a second time. Actar peered over his reading glasses and picked it up. “Hello…”

Actar’s smile faded, his eyes went into a blank stare. After a moment of silence Sieena looked over at him.

“Hon, who is it?” She asked perplexed. No answer.

“Actar, who is it?” She questioned more sternly. This time when there was no answer she became slightly worried. Whoever was on the other end must have had a very important message, for Actar’s eyes were in a cold stare and his face like a stone.

Finally after about five minutes of this, Actar quite normally hung up the phone without a good-bye and settled back down to his book.

“Honey, who in all of  Talabus had such an important message for you?” Her voice quivered ever so slightly.

“Just business my dear,” he answered without looking up. This was strange because Actar was normally more than happy to discuss business with Sieena if she so desired.

Sieena went back to her paper and forced the incident out of her mind. Soon she was tired and went to sleep. Usually Actar was asleep shortly after her and so he was tonight.

The next day was very normal and somewhat uneventful. The streets were being cleaned and the yards mowed. King Actar had his monthly meeting with the royal soldier knights. Sieena had tea time with her friends and little Courtney lost a tooth.

That night, though as Actar and Sieena were preparing for bed, the phone rang. Actar took his reading glasses off to get the phone. A chill ran down Sieena’a back. Actar picked it up.

“Hello?” Again his eyes glazed over.

“Honey, who is it?” Sieena asked in desperation. She went to him and put her hand on his cheek. “What is going on?”

“Actar!” She shouted it at him. Courtney heard and came running in from her adjacent room.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know honey, daddy’s acting strange,”

Courtney clinged to her mother. The two of them stared at Actar. It was as if he were being controlled by whoever or whatever was on the phone. Then as suddenly as it began, he became relaxed and hung up the phone.

“Actar! You tell me who was on that phone right now!!” Sieena commanded. Actar looked at her with a confused sort of grin.

“Honey, what are you talking about?”

“Ac, you were just on the phone and you were-you looked liked someone just told you the dog died.” As if to reassure herself she looked down to make sure Kraft was sleeping at the foot of the bed where he normally was. To her great astonishment Kraft was not there.

“Si, I was just putting the sheets on our-”

“Oh my gosh, Ac, where is Kraft?!”

“Honey, what has gotten into you? You’re freaking out! The dog is probably searching the castle for a bite to eat!”

“Kraft!” she called, “Courtney have you seen Krafty?”

“I saw Kraft right after dinner, he went into that house across the street and I haven’t seen him since,” Courtney replied with a worried look, “Mommy is Krafty OK?”

“Honey I don’t know,” a tear dripped down Sieena’s face and she looked back at Actar. Actar had a somewhat bewildered look on his face. “Ac honey, you honestly don’t know what just happened, do you?”

“Si, let’s just go to sleep now, OK? Kraft will come back when he’s got a full stomach,” this was weird because Kraft was never hungry after dinner and Actar knew this as well as anyone else.

“I’m going to go find Kraft!” Sieena said as she took Courtney by the hand, “Come on Court,”

Actar, not sure of what to do, lie down in his bed. Sieena and Courtney searched the house. By the time they got to the first floor nearly three hours later, they were exhausted and empty handed.

Sieena put Courtney to bed. She was not satisfied but did not know what to do. She went back to her own bed next to her husband who was sleeping heavily.

The next morning at breakfast Sieena frequently shot concerned glances at Actar but he carried on with his usual morning activities seemingly oblivious to the previous night’s events.

At noon Roknow approached Actar once again. “Your majesty, if your servant’s intuition is of any concern to you, please my king, may we have that house torn down to its foundations?”

“Roknow, my servant, that house was once the home of a great man, a friend of mine. Madous. Madous would call me when his heart was troubled and I would call him when my heart was troubled. His room was on the top floor. In his later years, Madous acquired arthritis in all of his joints to the point where he could not dial my number anymore.

“So he taught his parrot to dial my number, pick up the phone and hold it for him while we talked. The parrot was a good tool but Madous hated the bird because its previous owner had taught it to talk. Madous said that bird depressed him more than anything because it sat there and told him sad stories day and night. Anyway, Madous died the year before I hired you. So, Roknow, he’s dead, there’s no one there,”

“Yes my lord,” Roknow’s head dropped and he went back to cleaning the house.

Later that afternoon Courtney asked,” Mommy, may I spend the night at Alice’s house?”

“Well, I don’t see why not, Courtney,”

Courtney’s face lit up and she ran up to her room. Shortly she was back with her pillow and sleeping bag.” Bye mommie,”  Alice’s house was a block away so Courtney set out to walk there. When she got out the front entrance of the castle she saw the mansion across the street.

Remembering that was the last place she saw Kraft, she crossed the road and slowly entered the house.

Soon night fell on Talabus. Sieena was filled with fear. She knew the phone would ring again this night. She had an idea. Unplug the phone and it can’t ring. So she found the main incoming line and disconnected it. She then got into bed next to Actar who was reading his novel.

She looked at him and he turned toward her. He smiled and then went back to his book. She picked up the Talabus Chronicle and read until she fell asleep.

Actar finished reading and turned out his lamp. He was about to lie down when he suddenly felt an urge. He got out of bed. His eyes went into a blank stare. He was not fully conscious of what he was doing. He put on his slippers and walked to the stairwell. He continued down the stairs until he got to ground level and then proceeded outside.

It was an overcast and windy night. There were flashes of lightning on the horizon. Actar crossed the street and when he got to the steps of the old mansion he paused. He looked up to the fifth floor window and then entered the house. It was pitch black inside but some light from a soft street lamp found its way in. There was a large grandfather clock next to the stair banister that showed 1 a.m. and was still ticking. Actar made his way up the spiraling stairs bypassing the second, third and forth floors.

At the top of the stairs Actar faced the door to Madous’ room across a large white walled room. The wooden planked floor was devoid of any furniture. In his dazed trance Actar proceeded to the door.

Meanwhile Sieena tossed and turned. Suddenly she was awakened. She was immediately aware of the absence of her husband. She sprang from bed and turned the lights on. “Actar!” she called and was about to yell for Courtney but remembered she was at Alice’s. She realized Roknow was the only other person home. She ran down the stairs yelling for Actar and looking out the windows on every floor. When she got to the second floor she looked a little further across the street and that’s when she saw Actar’s reading glasses on the front steps of the old mansion which confused her. She reached the first floor where Roknow’s quarters were.

“Roknow! Roknow, where is Actar?”

Roknow woke up and groggily put on some clothes, “What is wrong your majesty?”

“I woke up and Actar wasn’t there,” all her thoughts made her panic, “and where is Kraft, have you seen Kraft?” Tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Your highness, aren’t you over reacting?”

“Roknow, listen to me. Actar has been acting strange the last couple of nights, like, the phone will ring and he’s completely controlled by whoever called,”

“Have you looked everywhere? Maybe he’s sleep walking,”

“I haven’t looked outside yet. I’m going to call and make sure Courtney is OK,” Sieena grabbed the kitchen phone. There was no dial tone and she panicked. Then she remembered what she did and ran to the corner where the phone line came in. She plugged it in and dialed. Five rings later she got an answer. It was Alice’s mother.

“I’m so sorry to call you at this hour…um, this is Sieena, I just wanted to check on Courtney,”

“Oh my, my dear Queen, Courtney never came here. I tried to call at about nine but the line was busy…”

“Oh no!” She shrieked.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Call the royal soldier knights for me-tell them my whole family is missing!”

“Yes your majesty!”

Over at the old mansion Actar opened the door to Madous’ room. If he had not been in a trance, what he saw would have horrified him. There lying on the floor was Courtney-dead. Next to her was Kraft also dead. Among them were various dead animals including three rats, four bats and a raccoon. There was no blood, no wounds. The victims simply looked as if they had died in their sleep.

Actar turned to the window that faced his castle. Directly to the right of it was a knight stand with a telephone on top. And directly to the right of that stood a bird cage. In the cage there sat Madous’ parrot.

“King Actar?”

Actar was released from his trance when the bird spoke. He looked all around him and was filled with great sorrow.

The early morning glow of the sun lit the room enough for him to see. “Courtney! Oh my gosh, Courtney!” He put his hand on her face. He noticed her cheeks had traces of immense tears. He himself began to cry. “Oh Kraft…”

“King Actar, let me tell you a story,”

At that point Actar noticed two dead birds hanging off the side of the cage. “You, you did this!”

“I belonged to a pirate. His name was Cutlass. This pirate carried me on his shoulder day and night as we sailed to the remotest seas of the world-”

“Roknow was right, I should have had this place torn down-years ago!” Actar wanted to run but he found himself strangely intrigued by the story.

“One night the waters were stormy. From my perch I saw through the rain a blackness,” the bird talked as a human, not a parrot, “it was an encompassing darkness that enveloped the ship. The blackness came in and killed the entire crew. Cutlass and I were the only living left. The blackness found its way into our spines. The pain was unbearable, unceasing. We were taken to another world. A world without light or life,”

The bird talked into the morning hours and the sun barley penetrated the clouds. The room became bleak. The room was death.

“There we were placed and we walked upon the bodies of suffering people and animals. The blackness peeled our skin,”

Frightful tears rolled down Actar’s cheeks. His heart sank. Physically his blood seemed to slow. His breathing became weak.

“The blackness worked its way through our spines and into our brains. The unbearable pain spread through the veins in our brains-”

At that point Actar’s heart stopped. He fell in a heap next to his own daughter and his own dog. Then the parrot climbed out of the door of its cage and took the phone off the hook. It dialed the number of Actar’s castle.

Meanwhile as Sieena searched the castle, Roknow came back in. “Your majesty, I saw the king’s reading spectacles lying on the front steps of the old mansion across the street. I fear he may have entered that dreaded old place,”

The phone rang. Sieena made a move for the phone and at that moment an aged man burst through the door. “DO NOT ANSWER THAT PHONE!”

“Who are you that you speak to the Queen of Talabus like that?” retorted Roknow.

“I am Cutlass. If you answer that phone you will die,”

“What on earth are you-” Roknow began.

“Wait Roknow,” she turned to Cutlass “My husband is dead isn’t he?”

“Did he answer the phone?”

“Yes,” she said shakily.

“Let me tell you what is going on. When I was in my younger years, exploring the ends of our world I got caught in another world. I cannot tell you what happened there for it will sadden you to the point of death. But my parrot was with me. After we were released from that other world my parrot would remind me of what happened. I could not handle it so I sold the bird to Madous, a man who lived across the street from you,”

“Yes, I knew Madous.” Sieena realized that Courtney and Kraft must have went to that house as Actar did. “So that bird is still over there?”

“And it knows our phone number,” completed Roknow.

“Anyone who listens to its story will surly die from sadness,” added Cutlass. The phone rang again. Sieena jerked the main jack back out of the wall. She could not stop crying.

“How can we kill the bird?” asked Roknow.

“No one can approach the thing except for me. I am afraid to. I have put that dreadful event behind me,” his eyes started to sadden as he even mentioned it. “I may be able to talk to the bird and keep it from talking to me though,”

“I’ve an idea,” Roknow blurted, “you talk to it and I’ll follow with a shotgun. While its occupied I will shoot it.”

“That sounds like a good idea, as good as any, “Cutlass replied.

“I’ll wait here,” said Sieena.

Cutlass tossed a small bag on the kitchen table, Roknow fetched a shotgun and followed Cutlass outside and across the street.

Shortly after, the Royal Soldier Knights arrived at the castle. Sieena told them that her daughter and husband had been killed but she didn’t know what they could do. The Knights decided to guard the house until Sieena felt safe again.

Roknow and Cutlass reached the fifth floor of the old mansion. They weren’t sure where to look but decided to try the top floor first. Cutlass walked across the empty room to the door of Madous’ quarters. He opened the door and his gasp alerted Roknow.

The bird saw Cutlass and began talking, “So, it is my faithful companion, Cutlass. You have left me all these years-alone! You and I were the only ones from this world to ever see into that black world, why did you forsake me?”

“You shut-up! The only way to escape the agony is to forget about it,” Cutlass found his own voice cracking and a tear uncontrollably rolled down his cheek.

Roknow raised the gun and aimed. Then he began to weep bitterly. He could not see trough his tears. He pulled the trigger and there was a loud bang. He wiped his eyes only to find he had shot Cutlass. Roknow fell to his knees weeping.

“Careful now. It seems your master is dead and now your only escape!” the bird chattered. Roknow tried with every muscle in his body to crawl to the door. “You think your world is crumbling-HA! Let me tell you of REAL pain! I was once in a world where the option of painlessness did not exist!”

Roknow wheezed and coughed. He grabbed the shotgun and put it to his head. He pulled the trigger.

Back at the castle Sieena was being counseled by a Royal Soldier Knight.

“Your highness, this bird you tell us about killed your husband and daughter?”

“Yes,” she said through her tears, “I want that place torn down over there! NOW!”

“Yes your majesty. I need to call in a destruction crew, where is your phone?”

Sieena frowned and said, “You’ll have to plug it back in, but don’t –don’t let it ring!” The soldier plugged it back in and immediately it rang. “Don’t answer it!!”

It was too late, another soldier answered it. “This is the residence of King Actar, he is not available-” his manner changed abruptly and he looked at Sieena, “It’s for you,”

It couldn’t be the bird. If it was then the soldier would be in a trance. Reluctantly she took the phone. “Hello,” she answered shakily.

“Queen Sieena! What a privilege!” the voice on the other end of the line said.

“Who is this?!” Sieena demanded.

“You should ask ‘what is this?’,”

“You’re the bird aren’t you?”

“Oh I once was a parrot, yes. But if you will come over here I will tell why that is no longer true,”

“You kill people-why?!

“I don’t kill, I torture. It is the will of the blackness that all worlds be assimilated into it. Come, come Queen Sieena.”

She fought the force but was overcome by sorrow. She began crying.

“Your majesty,” bellowed a knight, “shall we go there and kill the bird?”

“NO! It will kill you!” she cried.

“Come, Queen!” The bird pulled her concentration to it. Sieena strained her eyes hard as they pulled into a stare. She managed to see the leather bag that  Cutlass left on the table.

“Should we pull the phone cord?” The soldiers were not aware of what was happening.

“Come to my room, Queen Sieena,” the bird repeated slowly. Sieena fought and struggled against the bird’s strange hypnotism. She was able to pull the bag to her.

“Your majesty what shall we do?” The soldier knights were alert and at her service.

She read a small printed single word: “BLACKNESS” Maybe this could do something to the bird. She would have to get it to the bird. She would have to risk her life to try the only thing she thought might do something. Tears streamed down her face.

“Come on-Si!” Its voice was Actar’s! She screamed and threw the phone down. With the small bag in one hand she ran out the door and across the street. The soldier knights were on her heels. They stopped when she went inside. By now they were afraid for their own lives.

Sieena was sure she would die. The house itself crushed her spirit. Nevertheless she had to continue on or this bird would continue killing. She thought of the people of Talabus. She and Actar had had close friendships with many of them. She thought of how she might be saving their lives and this lifted her spirit ever so slightly.

Sieena made her way up the five floors. She got to the empty room and saw the door to Madous’ room. Her tears flooded her vision. The trance led her all the way. She opened the door and entered the room.

The horror was overwhelming. Her husband, daughter and dog lay in heaps among many dead animals. Near by were two more bodies with most of their heads missing and blood all over the floor and walls. Sieena’s face went pale and she vomited.

“Queen Sieena! Would you like to hear the story of how Cutlass’ bird lost its being? I thought you would!”

“NO!” she screamed. Her heart slowed. She felt as if an elephant were sitting on her chest. She felt extremely lonely as if she were the only human being left in existence. Her breathing was slow.

“The Blackness! It crept in like a flood! It moved into every part of my body! I was simply an explorer. I was sailing the great ocean and one night my ship was drowned in dark! I found my self in a land where light was not. The pain tore through my body. I saw a pirate screaming in agony, he had a parrot on his shoulder. The pirate was thrown back into reality and me too but not before I was assimilated by the blackness! I and the pirate’s parrot. So horrible was the blackness that the story itself squelches a soul! I escaped it’s world and now I do the will of the blackness. The blackness still seeks me,”

Sieena lost all strength. She cried out in agony as she untied the leather bag. She fell to the floor lifeless. The darkness crept out of the bag and filled the room.

“NO!” The parrot shrieked. The blackness oozed up the walls and made it’s way into the bird’s cage. The bird tried to fly out but became sorrowful and lost all of it’s strength. It wheezed for ten minutes and then as it clutched the cage it fell to its death. The blackness swirled around the room and back into the leather pouch.

At that moment the old mansion shook as though it were in an earth quake. The old trees fell. The siding on the house broke away and landed on the ground. The walls creaked loudly as they tumbled down. In a matter of seconds the old mansion was a heap on the ground.

As quickly as the house came down, grass began to grow there. A tree spouted up and then another. The morning sun shone brightly upon that point. And that point became a memorial in Talabus. It was a reminder that all evil should be purged from among the people before it became a cancer that could destroy even the mighty. Even as mighty as King Actar and Queen Sieena.


The?MURDER? MYSTERY by Josh Anderson (1997)

The scene of the crime was ridicules. All of the investigating officers would rather try to figure out if O.J. murdered Nicole than try to figure this out.

It started out when the owner of the house came home late one night. Jed was his name. He was out at the bar and came home at about 1 a.m.. As he tells his story, he approached his door and noticed it was slightly opened. Fearing that a burglar was inside he ran to the neighbor’s house and called the police.

When the police got there, they cautiously entered with their guns drawn. With their flashlights they could tell the place was a mess. After a quick glance around they deemed it O.K. to turn the lights on. They searched the entire house and the entire premisis for hours. They found no one.

As soon as it appeared to be O.K., the best forensic unit in the country was sent in to investigate. Squad #6.02X10[DA1] 23 -yes, the Mole squad. Comprised of 2 men and 2 women the Mole squad was known nationally by police departments for their ability to crack any case imaginable.(Unknown to the public, they were the one’s who solved the O.J. case)

There was Travis O’Neal who usually didn’t talk much and stuck to the cases; there was Ronald Bookman who was always reading some Science Fiction book and was paranoid that the aliens would make him into intergalactic coffee beans; there was Shelly who would rather flirt with guys than work but when she did work she was able to get a lot accomplished in a short time; and then there was Cindy who came from France to be an actor in Hollywood but found she was much better at forensics(go figure).

When the Mole squad got there they agreed with the police:it was the craziest thing they’d ever seen.

There was a body on the floor in the living room. Both the legs were broken. There was a rope around the neck and it was tied to the large fancy chandelier, which was usually on the ceiling but now sat on the large fancy sofa. The body (which was a man) had no shirt. There were obvious stab wounds all over his body. There was a pistol under one sofa and a shotgun under another. There were cat and dog paw prints all over the house in the man’s blood. A struggle was very apparent. Tables and chairs were knocked over all over the house.

“Well guys, I think we should split up and come up with our own conclusion like we did in the McVeigh case,” commented Bookman and then went back to his book.

“I agree,” said O’Neal. The girls nodded and got out their forensics kits and began work. Bookman sat on the sofa with shotgun under it and continued his book. O’Neal just sat and studied the body.

Suddenly Bookman shivered and abruptly dropped his book and looked under the sofa. “What do we have here? A 12 gauge shotgun!” Everyone’s eyes turned toward him.

Shelly quickly looked under the other couch, “Hey! Look! It’s a 9 millimeter pistol!!” Then everyone looked at her.

Bookman went back to his book and O’Neal went outside. Cindy dusted for finger prints and Shelly took hair samples.

Again Bookman abruptly threw his book down and ran up to the loft. “My god! There’s another body up here!! W-with a shirt wrapped around her face! Get the paramedics up here!!” As the paramedics ran up the stairs, Bookman pushed his glasses up, took a pencil out and jotted down some notes. A few hours later the paramedics identified the old woman’s body as Erma Hetzner(one of Jed’s neighbors)

“Ewwwww!” came Shelly’s voice from the kitchen, “There’s Ketchup on the floor!”

“Drugs!” said Bookman still standing where the body of the old woman was. He knelt down, put his finger in it and tasted it. “Hmmm,–sugar!” he said and then scribbled some more notes.

“It appears both legs are broke,” commented Cindy. “And his shirt is missing–jee, it looks like he was stabbed to death! But this rope makes it look like the murderer tried to hang him,”

“That poor little kitty probably has blood all over his feet because he’s tracked it all over the house-and the dog too!” Shelly put in from the kitchen again.

After writing several pages of notes in his small notebook, Bookman came into the kitchen and saw the coffee pot on the counter. “AHHH!!!!”


“C-c-coffee beans!! I’m sorry, I have to go now!!” and Bookman left.

“Ronald!! He left!” complained Cindy, “And where is Travis??”

“Right here,” Travis said as he came in through the back door noting it’s broken glass.

“What have you found?” asked Shelly.

“Emmm, nothing…um, this window is broken,”

O’Neal went up to the balcony and a little later the girls saw him leave. “What an idiot, he didn’t even do anything!” Cindy said to Shelly.

“Yeah… well, since everyone is leaving I guess I’ll go too,” said Shelly as she packed up her kit.

“Well, I guess I’m done too,” Cindy added as she packed her kit. “Don’t forget, we have to question witnesses and suspects tomorrow,”

“Yeah,” and the two left.

The next day the Mole Squad met up at the police station with Chief Tucker.

“Hi guys, have a seat,” the Chief said pointing to some chairs around the meeting table. “How’s progress??”

“Inconclusive,” stated Bookman.

“I’m confused,” added Cindy.

“Need more information,” said O’Neal.

“He’s cute!” said Shelly looking out the window at an officer.

“Ah, I see. Well hopefully these witnesses our boys dug up will help you,” the Chief said. He walked over to the door and let in Mrs.Cratz, Mildred and Lenny(Jed’s other neighbors.)

Mrs.Crats and Mildred looked down cast so Shelly asked, “You two look sad, what’s wrong?”

Mildred spoke up and said, “Well, don’t you people know that that a murderer killed our friend Erma? I mean, isn’t that why we’re here?”

“Well-” Shelly started to say as the Chief opened the door. To Mrs.Cratz and Mildred’s surprise, in walked Erma!

“Oh my gosh you’re alive!!” screamed Mildred as she and Mrs.Cratz hugged her.

“O.K., we need to hear from you people what happened here,” O’Neal commented, “Mrs.Cratz, how ’bout you go first? Tell us what happened yesterday,”

“Well, I was making some cookies when I realized I was all out of sugar. So I decided to go ask Jed for a cup(a lot of us do that because jed is such a nice young man. So I went to his house and rang the doorbell several times. He never came to the door so I thought maybe he was listening to music in headphones(he does that you know). So I opened the door to find him and that’s when I knew someone else had been in the house. I saw tables and chairs knocked over-it was a mess. So I thought I would call Mildred and Erma over to take a look-”

“Mrs.Cratz, why didn’t you call the police?” asked Bookman.

“Well, I…I guess I didn’t think about it…”

“Hmmm, I see,” Bookman scribbled some notes in his book, “What happened next?”

“Well,” Erma piped up, “That’s when Mildred and I came over. I used to be a secretary at this police station,”she said proudly, “Obviously I was the one to check out the place. So I went upstairs and that’s where the murderer tried to kill me! I don’t remember anything after that,”

“Mrs.Cratz and I waited for her and then we thought the murderer got her so we ran to Lilian’s house in PineRidge and called the police,”Mildred put in.

“Those silly police searched Pine Ridge instead of our neighborhood,”

After a long pause O’Neal asked “Is that all?” The ladies nodded. “What’s your story Lenny?”

“Well, last night I came over there to Jed’s to see if I could borrow his pikne flange. I rang the doorbell and he never came so I assumed he was out at the bar. That’s all I know about yesterday,”

The Chief escorted them out and then told the Mole Squad “Now for our only real suspect, Jed himself,” Jed came and sat down.

“Well, tell us like it was Jed,” commanded Bookman.

“All I know is, I got two phone calls yesterday. One was a gosh dern pranker. I came runnin’ a hundred miles an hour down the stairs only to pick up the phone and hear bzzzzzzzzz! The other one was my boss say’n I had to come to work until about 8:00. Well, I went to work and as soon as I got off I went to the bar till ’bout 1:00 in the mornin’. When I came home I saw the door half way open so I ran next door to Bob’s and called the police. The police come and tell me there’s a dead body in my house!!”

“Is that it?”asked O’Neal.

“S’all I know!!” The Chief escorted Jed out.

“All right now, I want each of you tell me what happened here by the end of the week, O.K.?” asked Chief Tucker.

“Yes sir!” exclaimed Bookman. Every one else just nodded.

The next few days the Mole Squad continued their investigations at Jed’s house. Except that lazy bum O’Neal who pretended to have everything figured out and only showed up once in a while. Of course Bookman was reading a novel 95% of the time and Shelly flirted with every guy who walked down the street. Cindy watched a lot of T.V. but appeared to be the most involved. By the time the end of the week rolled around they were all getting tired of the case.

Finally it was time to present what they came up with to Chief Tucker. The four got to the police station early and the Chief brought them to a meeting room with chalkboards and an overhead projector.

Chief Tucker sat down at the head of the table and randomly chose Cindy. “Cindy, why don’t you tell us what you think happened?”

Cindy looked slightly unprepared. “Well, from my investigation, to be totally honest I don’t know what exactly happened. I have pieced together a story though. The way I see it, the murderer must have been in some kind of Satanic cult. Jed who could be considered religious must have gotten on the murderer’s bad side. Wanting to avenge himself, the murderer decided to put a curse on Jed. He goes to the victims house (who we identified as Perry Carter)who lives next door to Jed. The murderer kills Mr.Carter and drags him in to Jed’s house and plans to hang him from the chandelier as a spectacle. But after the suspect leaves, the chandelier rips out of the roof. When Carter hit the floor both his legs broke,”

“What about the stab wounds, Cindy?” asked Bookman.

“Well…um, like I said, the guy was a Satanist. His goal was probably to shock Jed, so he stabbed him a bunch to make him bleed.”

“MMM HMMM. Well, you didn’t explain Erma upstairs, or the sugar…” came O’Neal.

“Well, that’s all I have-uh-I can’t quite piece the other stuff together.”

Chief Tucker looked over at Bookman, “Well, what do you have for us?”

“Its quite simple really,” everyone looked at Bookman curiously, he was intelligent and probably had the right answer, “Mr.Carter was over at Jed’s. The two were critiquing a book when-”

“Ronald! Jed had no knowledge of Mr.Carter being at his house that day!” protested Shelly.

“Well, you see, Jed doesn’t remember-”

“Why not?” protested Cindy.

“Well, if you’d listen! I’m going to explain it all. While Jed and Perry sat discussing the book, suddenly a very frightening thing happened-”

“WHAT!?” Shelly and Cindy shouted in unison.

“Well, you see, there was a bright light and the aliens entered through the back door. They broke the back door. They had paw-like feet. Their bodies were covered in an oxyprotectant red blood-like ooze. They were the one’s who got the little footprints all over the house,”


“Just listen,” he struggled to keep their attention, “They put Jed into a coma and induced memories of work and going to the bar into his head. They took Mr.Carter and did tests on his body. These tests included puncturing the torso and breaking both femurs.”

“Bookman, even if we were stupid enough to listen to your story, you still haven’t explained the guns under the couches-” Chief Tucker broke in.

“But the aliens-!”

“Bookman! It’s Shelly’s turn!”  Tucker bellowed. “Shelly?”

“Oh!” Shelly turned away from the window where she had been watching some guys. “This is how I think it happened. Mr.Carter was really cute, right?”

“Some of us wouldn’t know, Shelly,” answered the Chief.

“Well, a lot of girls were asking Perry for dates n’ stuff, so, like, Jed gets jealous and goes over to Carter’s. He invites Carter over and stabs him to death over there,”

“What about the rope?” came O’Neal.


“Yea and what about the aliens?” shot in Bookman.

“There weren’t-”

“Shelly you forgot about Erma and the broken back door,” added Cindy.

“Erma must have broke the-”

“Shelly, is that all you have?” asked Chief Tucker.

“Yeah,”she said sheepishly.

Finally the  Chief  looked toward O’Neal and said, “O.K.. O’Neal, lets hear your story,”

Travis looked around the room then got up and walked over to the overhead projector and turned it on. “All right,”  he said in his Irish accent “This is how it must of ‘appened. Mr.Carter, wanting to borrow a small cup of sugar from his neighbor,Jed, calls Jed at 12:00 noon on Monday. Jed is upstairs and when he hears the phone ring he runs downstairs knocking over a table and some chairs-”

“Your saying Jed knocked over the tables?” interrupted Cindy.

“Yes. By the time he gets to the phone, Carter has given up and hangs up. This accounts for the so called “pranker”. Jed then got the call telling him that he had to go to work until 8:00 p.m..”

“Work?” asked Bookman.

“Yes, he really did go to work. Anyway, Jed takes off to work at about the same time Carter decides that Jed won’t mind him borrowing a little bit of sugar while he’s gone. Carter then sneaks over to Jed’s house and goes through the front door. Carter, being very hungry that day sees the lunch on the kitchen table that Jed left. He thinks Jed won’t mind him eating the left out food(after all, it will spoil if he doesn’t). He decides the sandwich could use some ketchup and when he tries to squirt some on he misses and squirts a blob on the floor. Then he finds the sugar and fills his cup. At that point the doorbell rang. This was where everything fell apart for Mr.Carter. Who could it be? And what would they think if they saw him in Jed’s house? So Carter frantically runs up the stairs to the loft. Then, the person who is at the door-who is Mrs.Cratz-begins to worry that something may be wrong with Jed. She takes it upon herself to enter the house and see what’s up. Inside Mrs.Cratz sees the knocked over tables and thinks someone must have broken in. Mrs.Cratz then called Mildred and Erma (instead of the police). Shortly the two arrive and Mr.Carter is still trapped upstairs. Erma, who used to be a secretary at the police station, assumes she is the most experienced in criminal affairs and begins to search the house. As Erma ascends the stairs, Mr.Carter becomes so nervous that he does the first thing that comes to mind. He whips off his shirt (this is where he drops the sugar). As Erma passes Mr.Carter, he jumps out of the shadows and quickly wraps his shirt around her mouth and does a quick karate chop to her pressure point knocking her out for hours. Mr.Carter thinks he has killed Erma and is overcome with guilt. Mildred and Mrs.Cratz wait for what seems like an eternity and Erma never comes back. The two think she must have been murdered and run for their own lives. They keep running afraid to even stay in their own neighborhood. Finally the two reach the PineRidge neighborhood and go to Lilian’s house and call the police. They tell the police that there is a murderer on the loose in their neighborhood but they are so frantic they forget to say where and hang up. The police traced the call and immediately had a full scale search on–uh-in PineRidge that is. Meanwhile, Mr.Carter still has not left Jed’s house and is so overcome with guilt that he decides to commit suicide. He went into Jed’s bedroom and found his pistol and walked into the living room. Just as he was about to pull the trigger the doorbell rings. It is Lenny from across the street. Afraid, Mr.Carter flings the gun under the couch and runs back up stairs. After Lenny has given up ringing the doorbell and goes back home, Mr.Carter tries again. This time he got Jed’s shotgun. He went back to the living room and was just about to shoot when a strange noise at the back door frightened him. He flung the shotgun under the other sofa and approached the backdoor. There was a scratching sound. As Mr.Carter opened the door Jed’s Rottweiler burst through and chased him around the kitchen. Jed ran into the backyard where the Rottweiler chased him all around until he jumped into a rose bush. The rose bush cut him up badly. He finally wrestled his way out and ran back in the house but not before he found a coil of rope. This is how he could kill himself! He slammed the door before the dog could get in. He ran up to the loft and quickly lassoed the chandelier without thinking. He tied the rope around his neck, said bye and dove from the balcony. When his weight hit the rope, the chandelier ripped out of the ceiling. When Mr.Carter hit the floor his legs broke and then his head hit, he died and the chandelier landed on the couch. At that point the Rottweiler burst through the backdoor and went straight to Carter’s body and pounced on him, then realized he was dead and started going through the house sniffing every thing. The cat came in and also got in the blood and walked all over the place. The scene looked like this until Jed came home about 1:00 a.m.. He saw the door slightly opened-probably left open by Mrs.Cratz and Mildred. Afraid of a burglar he runs across the street to Lenny’s house and calls the police. The police arrive at the scene and the rest is as we say-history!”

“By Jove I think he’s got it!” exclaimed the Chief.


My Version of Batman & Robin (1993?)

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This criminal who committed crimes in humorous ways called himself the Joker. When the Joker was a teen he killed a young boy’s parents. The young boy’s name was Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne grew up studying different ways of justice. Bringing together all his knowledge from his studies he arrived upon the decision of a disguised hero. Combining this with his love for bats came Batman. Bruce also studied martial arts with his best friend. His best friend, wanting to join him in his fight for justice, became Robin. With the two’s combined intelligence they built themselves an underground base where they worked on technically advanced equipment such as the Batmobile and the Batwing.

The Joker finished planning his greatest crime. His plan was to rob the largest bank in Gotham City. With his perverted sense of humor he would murder anyone who got in his way.

The Joker climbed into his van slash arsenal. By the time he reached the bank he had every last detail planned. As he entered he threw knock out gas in every corner – of course he himself had a gas mask.

Five security guards breathing through their shirts approached him and he mindlessly gunned them down. After he took every cent he could find, he walked out laughing as he shot everyone he saw. He drove his van home and stocked away “his” money.

That night, for more  fun he went out and raped eight women. This was on the front page of the Gotham Newspaper.

As Bruce Wayne read this he decided it was time to do away with the Joker once and for all. Bruce put on his Batman suit and climbed into the Batmobile. He exited the Batcave at 220 mph.

In a very short time Batman arrived at the Joker’s giant mansion. He was doing 150mph as he rammed through the Joker’s front door. The Batmobile screeched to a halt in the Joker’s huge living room. Hundreds of the Joker’s henchmen surrounded the Batmobile. They all watched tentatively as a rod with a ball on the end rose out from beneath the car. Suddenly the balls dropped off to the floor and just as quick the Batmobile was gone and the entire inner section of the mansion was wiped out. Just as the Batmobile was to exit the gate it was hit by a missile. The explosion took out the back engine and Batman flew through the air. A few seconds after he landed, after his head was cleared, he signaled Robin to come pick him up.

One week later when Batman was mostly healed from his wounds he received a message via satellite from the Joker. The Joker explained that unless Batman revealed his identity he would blow up two entire city blocks. He also showed Batman pictures of the dynamite set up around the buildings.

The Joker said he would be waiting for Batman at the city hall where the mayor was going to give a speech to thousands.

Batman and Robin gave each other a look that said “LET’S NUKE ‘EM!” Batman and Robin grasped each other’s hand and prayed that the Lord Almighty God would be with them on their mission.

The two climbed into the Batwing and exited the Batcave at what seemed like light speed. Batman maneuvered through alleys and when they came upon the city hall Robin aimed the guns. Four missile launchers opened themselves and two gatling guns were emerged.

The Joker spotted the armed Batwing and pulled out a 7 ft. gun and aimed it at the Batwing. He fired the thing and its power knocked him back. It struck the Batwing and simply glanced off.

Robin got the Joker in his sight and unloaded everything. Batman maneuvered the Batwing so as not to hurt any innocent people.

The explosian not only took out Joker but all of his equipment and henchmen.

“THANK YOU LORD!” Batman and Robin yelled in unison.


Hydro (Oct. 18, 1996)

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The Exorberfrost

The world of Sram is not far away nor was it long ago. It is, however, unreachable. Even though the planet Sram is right where you are right now, you cannot get to it for it lies in the prl3T dimension.

This story is about the Florsh that saved Sram from falling out of existence by the hand of Niniss, the evil emperor from the planet Grawth.

This particular Florsh’s name was Hydro Fex. Now, I probably should tell you about Florshes. They are like wolves that talk and walk upright. Their arms and legs are more like a human’s but still covered with thick fur. Most Florshes are gray or black but Hydro was white.

Hydro’s family was homely and had a nice brick house in the mountains of Quindox by a river.They were only a mile away from the Watsport Ocean.

Hydro was overprotected by his parents and didn’t know much about the “Real World”. That is why he was probably the most unlikely Florsh on Sram to save the world.

*            *            *            *            *            *            *            *            *            *            *

Hydro was out catching Pinals (water crearures) on the shore of Watsport. He turned around when he heard a loud crash. A mile up the jungle covered mountains he saw it.

“No! Niniss is back!” Hydro only spent a moment looking at Niniss’ air ship which had just bombed his home. Niniss rarely did his own dirty work, so the airship was more than likely piloted by his Marg henchmen. But it was still a sure sign that Niniss was back on the rampage.

Hydro took off up the trail by the river that went straight to his house.  “So Niniss wasn’t kidding when he said he would kill anyone who wouldn’t give him their Weterlons,” thought Hydro. Weterlons were a scarce fruit that grew once a year and were used as money.

When Hydro got to his yard he almost had a heart attack at the sight of his house lying in ruins. He began to shake as he approached the middle pile of bricks. There lay his mom and dad-dead.

The poor little Florsh curled up and cried. The airship moved to the neighbor’s house and demolished it too and continued through the town of Skeevle.

Hydro did not move from that spot until dawn the next day and then he buried them. He wondered around in shock all day and when he laid down that night he began to think. He thought about all the things Niniss had done to the people of Quindox. Niniss didn’t even live on Sram. He had his own planet called Grawth which was small and only a hemisphere. The flat side (called the darkside) was very mountainous and had many caves. Niniss would come to Sram every few years to destroy property and steal valuables.

‘This time Niniss has gone too far. He has murdered my family and he will not live to hurt anymore Sramlings! I can and will make sure of that!’

The next morning Hydro knew he had to get up early and plan. He knew he was going to have to go to Grawth to get to Niniss. There was only one place in the world where a Sramling could take a trip to another planet without having to sell everything he owned and that was Colorston City, Cambradia. Cambradia was 1,200 miles across the Watsport Ocean.

Hydro packed up as much food as he could in a backpack and it was a good thing Florshes don’t eat much at all. Then he had to build a boat because he didn’t have enough money to buy one. It didn’t take him long to tie 3 large trees together and seal the cracks with Guallo puddy (from the core of the Guallo tree)

Now, on Sram the time is measured by the color of the ocean. In the morning it starts as red and changes every hour until it is black at midnight. Hydro set out at oceanred and sailed all day. He knew he’d have to stop at the Tarekat islands to restock on food even though he’d never been there before. There were many legends about the islands. They were said to be haunted and the thick fog never left. If one had the wisdom to get to them then they wouldn’t come out alive. It was also said that the dreaded Exorberfrost lurked in those waters.

Hydro thought of the islands as he tried to sleep on his little raft.

Hydro woke up at oceanorange (about 7:00 a.m. our time). Only one of the three suns Orgaan, Porchid and Manaka was up at that time. There were clouds building up in the east which worried Hydro because of his lack of experience sailing.

When oceanblue rolled around (Noon our time) Porchid, the second and largest sun was covered by dark clouds.

Right at oceangreen (1:00 p.m. our time) Hydro’s skull shrank as Florshes’ skulls do when a bad storm is near. He was worried and knew he was still about two days away from the Tarekats. The clouds covered Orgaan and left none of the bright blue sky showing. The wind came powerfully from the north so Hydro had to take his Guallo leaf sail down and paddle hard to keep from going south. It was very dark and began to rain hard.

The water turned violent. Hydro gripped what he could on his boat to hold on for dear life. If he fell off he would surely die. Then his raft tipped up on its side and he was slipping off when suddenly out of the ocean a mouth opened and swallowed him. It was a Labyrindroca. Inside the monster’s mouth was bigger than Hydro’s house and once inside the stomach, one would think they were inside a giant cave. Hydro just sat floating on the water in pitch blackness.

Afraid of what could happen at any moment, Hydro reached into his bag and took out his matches and a huge candle. When he lit it, he was horrified at what he saw. Bones floated in the water around him and that stuff dripping off the roof was….was digesting him! He had to get out and fast!

Suddenly his candle shot up a flame 6 feet high for one second.

‘What caused that to happen?’ he wondered. Another drip of that digestive stuff hit the candle and the flame shot up in the air again. ‘That’s it!’ and then it clicked ‘This thing doesn’t like fire much!’ He used a latch on his back pack to dig a small “bowl” in one of the Guallo logs. It didn’t take long for it to fill up with the saliva stuff. Then he took one of the ropes off his raft and saturated it in the stuff. The hardest part was throwing the rope just right to get the loop to  hang in the junk that was on the “roof”. He did eventually get it and then he lit it with the candle. The flame went crazy and shot up the rope forcefully and soon the whole roof was ablaze.

The walls of the Labyrindroca shrank down and before he knew it, Hydro was violently forced out with a stream of fire. The next thing he saw was the Labyrindroca smoking on its way back under water and his raft about 30 yards away and coming apart. The storm was a little more calm now.

When Hydro finally got back on his raft he saw an island covered in fog. The Tarekats? How could this be? He still had two days of traveling left.

Then he remembered that Labyrindrocas can swim over 300 mph. It was a good thing he was there because he needed to fix his raft. When he got to the shore he curled up in the sand and slept till oceanred the next morning.

When he got up he repaired his raft but he knew he had to go deep into the forest to gather food. He was very reluctant because that is where the Exorberfrost lived.

He was cautious as he entered the forest and was a mile in when he found food. He started gathering as quick as he could.

“Hold it right there small one!” Hydro turned around to see the humongous face of the Exorberfrost! The Exorberfrost was strange, even in the Sram world. Its face was the shape of a shoe box only MUCH larger. The eyes were like two balls on top of the box. One house looking thing served as his neck, back bone and tail. The main part of hid body was like a skeleton, ribs encaged a very visible stomach. The heart and other vital organs were in a protective case in the chest area. His legs looked like bony cat legs but were square like 2×4’s and at the ends were 5 long claws. “You don’t think you’re getting’ outta here alive-do ya?”

Hydro bolted out of the forest and tried to remember how his father told him the Exorberfrost could be killed. Then he remembered! “If you can get the Exorberfrost in the water at oceanblack it will fade out of reality!” his father had said. But that would be midnight! It was only the middle of the morning and the Exorberfrost’s scissor tongue was chomping at his tail!

Somehow Hydro had to keep this thing busy all day. Then Hydro remembered the “Circle of Dust” – a ring of dust unremoved over the centuries. Anything that past through it would be frozen solid for about 12 hours. But where was it?

Coming out of the forest Hydro ran along the shoreline and came to an open plane on the west side of Twest (the Tareket Island he was on)

There it was! The Circle of Dust – he was so lucky. The Exorberfrost was right on his tail and it smashed the rocks it stepped on.

When Hydro got to the Circle, he leapt over it. The Exorberfrost didn’t even see it and planted its foot right in the center. It was stopped cold in its tracks. Hydro fell to the ground panting and turned to see it.

After a short rest, Hydro finished gathering all the food he needed and put it on his raft. Then he sat and wondered how he could get that huge Exorberfrost into the water.

Then he thought of beautiful Argyle Park. A very strange place – you could find any kind of animal on Sram there.

Hydro found a Nornie (like a pony in our world) and it took him 3 hours to get to Argyle Park. Once there he searched over the grassy hills to find an Orthinfox. (kind of like an elephant/ox in our world) He finally found one eating out of a Guallo tree and used its language to ask for help. Being a kind sort of animal, it complied and in 3 hours Hydro rode the Orthinfox back to Twest and the Circle of Dust. By then it was dark and just turning oceanblack.

When it did, Hydro commanded the Orthinfox to ram the Exorberfrost with its head. It made a loud “smack!” and the Exorberfrost stiffly rolled over into the black water. There was a loud hissing sound and a bright light as of magnesium and then the Exorberfrost deluted and evaporated out of existence (or at least prl3T existence)

With a long sigh of relief Hydro told the Orthinfox it could go back to Argyle Park. Hydro slept like a log that night and when he awoke at oceanred he was quick to shove off and continue toward Cambradia.

The ocean was smooth on the east side of the Tarekats and in a matter of a few short days Hydro found himself arriving on the west coast of Cambradia. He was about 200 miles from Colorston City. His plan was to find a Wicksoom (the fastest horselike animal in Cambradia) And he quickly found one in the little coast town of Spottork. He took the rope off his raft and tied himself down to the Wicksoom. When he and his food were tied down, he gave the Wicksoom the command to go and it took off straight to the east.

It only took 2 hours but when Hydro climbed off the Wicksoom at the edge of Colorston City, he was stiff. He quickly found the nearest Welcomejoint and went inside for information. There was a large black Florsh at the front counter.

“Hi, I need to find the cheapest rocket station in town,”

The Florsh gave Hydro a map of Colorston City and circled a little place called “Cambradian Space Lines”

“Thank you,” said Hydro as he left. He just realized the station was only a few blocks away.

When he got there, he was nervous – he had never left his planet before.

“All aboard!” cried a pilot standing near rocker #75@*. Hydro handed the pilot his only Weterlon.

Hydro climbed aboard and saw the sign that said “Destination Porbial” which was a little over half the distance to Grawth. Hydro got worried and wasn’t sure what to do. But he just sat there quietly. It only took an hour for the rocket to reach Porbial. When it landed, everyone on the rocket got off. Hydro suddenly had this feeling he would go straight back to Sram.

Suddenly in desperation, Hydro approached the pilot and asked “Sir, could you please take me to Grawth?”

“Grawth? No way kid! That’s like flying straight to Hell! Have you ever heard of Niniss?”

“Yeah, I’m going to kill him,” Hydro said calmly.

“Sure, whatever kid,” the pilot thought about it for a moment then said “I’ll drop you off, but I ain’t pickin’ you up!”

In less than an hour Hydro found himself getting kicked off the rocket and landing on Grawthian soil.

It was the darkside and Hydro was filled with terror. He could see Niniss’ castle only a short distance up a steep jagged conical mountain.

Hydro’s adrenaline was rushing and the Grawthian air made him strong.

In no time he was forcing his way through the front doors of the castle. He took out several Margs guarding the throne room doors.

Hydro forced the doors open and punched the biggest Marg he’s ever seen in the face and it fell to the floor.

Niniss was obviously surprised to even see a Florsh on his planet. Niniss came off his throne and approached Hydro.

“You’re next!” Hydro yelled. At that point Hydro and Niniss entered into mortal combat. The fighting lasted about two hours. Finally Hydro tired Niniss out and had him at his mercy.

“Do as I say?” Hydro questioned more like a command.

“NO!” cried Niniss as he bared his right arm. He had a small computer strapped to his arm. He pushed a button and the LCD displayed “SELF DESTRUCT” Hydro decked Niniss with a fatal blow and ran for his life.

He ran out to a large patio behind the throne room and there it was! Niniss’ personal luxury airship! Hydro fought his way through an army of Margs to get to the pilot station. He was lucky the thing was simple to pilot. He faced it in the direction of Sram and hit “hyperspace” just in time as Niniss’ castle exploded. The explosion was so violent that it split Grawth in two once again. But by that time, Hydro was slamming on the brakes and stopping the airship over his own little town of Skeevle.

The entire town was alerted and armed themselves. Hydro came out to the deck and told them not to be afraid.

They relaxed and as Hydro was looking for a way down he hit a button that said “release”. Suddenly several thousand tons of Weterlon poured out over main street Skeevle.

Of course from that day on Hydro was looked at as a hero. Nothing could bring back his parents but Hydro was happy. This would never happen to anyone else because Hydro killed Niniss.


Dan + Jen (1993?)

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Lamborghini Countach by Josh Anderson, pencil, 1995


I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to see her. But how? She lived over 150 miles away. Besides, she wasn’t my girlfriend. Oh but I had to see her. The urge over came me. I got into my 1985 Renault. I started it up and backed out of the driveway. I barely knew how to drive the stick shift and I didn’t even know the way to Rosdniw, the town Jennifer now lived in. But to see her would easily make up for my problems. As I drove down the highway, I thought of the years she lived in the same town as me, Giarc, and that we met at church when we were little. I thought of last year when I found out she was going to have to move. The anger of that thought made me speed. But I could not get my small car above 60mph. Finally I decided to stop at a gas station and get a map. When I did I was surprised to find out that I was going the right way and I only had 20 more miles to go. Those 20 miles went quick and when I saw the sign that said Rosdniw, I began to get anxious. At a gas station there I picked up a map of the town I had never been to before. On the map I found the street where she lived, Lodge Cir. When I got to the street I found her house! 52 Lodge Cir.! Her house was different than I had imagined. As I pulled up to the curb, I got very nervous. She had seen my car on an earlier visit to Giarc but I was still afraid it looked too cheap. My imagination went wild. I imagined my car was a Lamborghini. Yeah right. But tNhen right before me, my imagination became reality! My white 4 cylinder morphed into a V12 bright red Lamborghini Countach! I got out and took a look at it to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. “Am I dreamin’?” I asked myself. A quick pinch on the cheek proved that wrong. I reached out and touched it. It was there all right. I didn’t know how, but it was there. Now I had to refocus on what I was here for. I was still nervous. I walked up to the sidewalk and thought ‘What am I doin’ here?’ My palms were sweaty and I reached up to the door bell. I had prepared earlier what I was going to say-before the incident in the car. “I want to take you for a ride in my car.” A few seconds after I rang the door bell, the door opened. It was her! I got dizzy. She asked “Daniel? What are you doing here?” “I-I-uh- wa-I want to take you for a ride in my car…” I studdered. “Your car? Now? I-sure! Daniel!” As we began to walk down the sidewalk she said “I like your little car-,” then she saw my “New” car. “Oh my gosh! Is that your-” She couldn’t believe it when I got in the driver’s seat of the Lamborghini. As she got in she asked “How?” and I said “I would tell you if I could.” I started it and revved the engine. This car really had power. I screeched the tires and went through the neighborhood at 40mph. When I got out of the city limits and on to the freeway, I drove at everyone else’s speed – until a hot shot in a Mercedes whizzed by as if to say “My car is better than yours” Not only did I pass him, but the speed continued to rise until I hit the top speed of a Lamborghini Countach, 183mph. “Daniel!” Jennifer yelled. I looked at her calmly but when I looked at the speedometer I wasn’t so calm. The speed continued to rise until it was as high as it could get: 200mph. It continued to rise still. Steering was not difficult because the road was fairly straight and trafficless. Suddenly the car lifted off the ground. I looked out to the side and saw a wing emerge. It was just in time because the road got curvey. “We’re flying!” exclaimed Jennifer. “I-I- We’re not on Earth anymore!” I said as the blue sky turned into black space. And as strange objects flew past we realized we weren’t even in our own dimension anymore! “Where are we?” asked Jennifer. Rapidly we came upon what looked like a planet. On closer inspection it proved to be no planet at all but the large head of a beast that seemed to be “Evil” itself. I cranked on the steering wheel to turn around but when I did, Jennifer put her hand on my shoulder. “I have this feeling…this feeling that we must defeat it” she said. “I-I do too,” I replied. The very thought produced machine guns on the hood and missile launchers on the sides of the Lamborghini. Buttons on the steering wheel fired the atomic bombs at the creature. There was a gigantic explosion; larger than anything ever witnessed by humans. But when it cleared, the awful thing still glared at us with its red slitted eyes. “I have a feeling it will take more than physical fire power to defeat this thing,” I said. The two of us looked at the glove box which opened itself. Within was a bright, blinding light. Suddenly something blasted the car and there was fire. We looked up to see the beast closing its firey mouth. I reached into the glove box and pulled out the bright light. I realized it was a Bible. I put it in a compartment in the roof. I reached down and flipped a cap on the gear shift which revealed a lighted red button. I pushed down and the glowing Bible was fired from the roof. We watched it disappear in the distance. When it struck the beast there was a great blinding light seen in all directions. It lasted 7 seconds. The light faded and we sat in this space alone. The black of space faded out into the blue sky of Earth. Our Lamborghini was set down in the middle of a large city. Jennifer and I looked at each other with big eyes. We opened the doors to see a crowd of spectators who were impressed by the Lamborghini from the sky. For some reason I had the urge to look at a newspaper on a nearby stand. Jennifer followed me to it. The front page of the newspaper said “Satanist Gathering Suddenly Disappears From The Face Of The Earth” Jennifer and I stared at each other in disbelief and confusion.


Chuck & the Crew (1993)

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Chuck, a 20 year old man, stared at his T.V. as it played a baseball game.

“That reminds me,” he thought, I have a ball game today.” He got off his lazy butt, picked up his mitt and gear (catcher’s gear) because he was a catcher for the Dallas Horses. On his way out the door he stepped through a beam which instantly aged him 60 years so he was now 80 years old! Not at first realizing, he got into his EDSON and smashed the pedal to 50 mph in reverse running over his trash can. He roughly changed it into drive. On his way to the stadium he ran over a dog, a cat, a paper cup, a leaf and Vanilla Ice. When he arrived it was the top of the 3rd inning. He ran into the dugout. “Who are you old man?” he was asked by his team mate and CREW buddy Billy. “Duh, I’m Chuck!” “Ya sure, but I’ll let you play just in case.” He said. Chuck put his catcher’s gear on and crouched behind the batter. The pitcher threw a 90 m.p.h. ball that triggered a split second bad thought in Chuck’s mind: I forgot my cup!! While he was thinking that, the ball hit him there-hard. He laid on the ground, wailing in pain. The team coach told Billy to catch instead. Billy did the exact same thing that Chuck did and th coach told Joe to catch, the same thing happened to him. The coach told Jim to catch. The same thing happened to him. The coach told Bob to catch. The same thing happened to him. Now there was a pile of hurting catchers. Since Chuck was so old he started to have a heart attack. The heart attack made him tense every muscle in his body tightly which made him release a lot of gas. He grabbed his left arm in pain. Then the pain stopped, then a little later he grabbed his left arm and farted again-the pain stopped again. He suddenly realized he was standing in front of the pitcher and the next thing he knew, he was waking up on home plate with severe pain in his head. A man looking at him strangely said, “Get up dang it! The ambulance is waiting for you outside the stadium.” Chuck got up surprised no one was helping him. He proceeded out not paying too much attention to where he was heading. Well he got into a bus instead of the ambulance. The bus took off, heading down the freeway with Chuck sitting on the front steps. Chuck moaned as he grabbed his left arm and farted. The bus slowed to a stop. Chuck still thought he was in the ambulance and when it stopped at an airport he climbed on to a plane thinking it was the hospital. He sat on a first class seat and grabbed his left arm and farted. Thinking it was the hospital, he thought a flight attendant was a nurse he zipped his pants down and started mumbling something about his nuts to her. The flight attendant freaked out. The plane took off and he looked out the window just now finding out he was in a plane. He stood up and busted his head through the roof of the plane. The pilot made an emergency landing on an unknown island. When Chuck hit his head on the roof of the plane he forgot who he was and peed on the interior of the plane. The flight attendant kicked him off he found himself on a boat dock. He saw a woman and asked in a deep voice “Can I have a ride to the nearest Motel?” She said no and Chuck got into the back seat. She started driving anyway but she kept repeating the word OUT!! Chuck leaned his head back and bumped it which brough him back to his self. He grabbed his left arm and farted. She said “OUT!!” He forgot about the door and headed out. His head smashed through the window. The lady turned around, dumped him off in the water at the boat dock & drove off. When he smashed his head through the window, he went back to a “?” state. While under water he grabbed his left arm and bubbles went from his butt to the surface. He climbed out and went out to a freeway and tried to hitch hike out in the middle of the road but the cars just ran him over severing his left arm off. He got up and stumbled in to a forest  where a hunter shot his right arm off. He fell in a well but his right leg got caught and tore off. The 80 year old man got hungry and ate his left leg off. The stump with a head crawled back to  the dock where a helicopter landed. He used his teeth to climb up the side of the helicopter. He climbed past the door and got top of it. The still running blades chopped his head off. His head fell to the ground & the chopper flew off. He got hungry and ate the sin off his head. Then he touched a left tooth with his tongue and farted out the back of his skull blowing his brains out. Now he was a skull with eyes. He flew back to his baseball game somehow. He tractor beamed his mit. But suddenly he touched his left tooth with his tongue and farted out the back of his skull. This time the heart attack took a full swing. The skull shattered on the ground. Don’t ask me how he had a heart attack without a heart. Chuck somehow built himself back together. (Completely) He went out to his EDSON and drove back home he walked through the ager machine which changed him back to 20 years old. He picked his cup off the floor, put it in and walked out the back door. Chuck came around front and tore the ager off his house. He got back in his EDSON and drove back to the game which was now in the 23rd inning (in ties) In the dug out he said hi to BILLY JOE JIM BOB. He went out on the field, crouched in his catcher position and started catching. Finally the game was over and the HORSES won 30 to 31. Chuck drove home in his EDSON only to find the Crew (Billy, Joe, Jim & Bob) at his house. “Happy Birthday!” they screamed at him. “It’s not my birthday” Chuck explainec. “Oh darn!” said Bob. “Oh yeah – DUH  – that’s my dead Grandpa’s birthday” said Jim stupidly. Billy, Joe and Bob hit Jim over the head with baseball bats which killed him and Chuck taught him how to come back to life. When Billy, Joe and Bob saw this they killed their selves & Chuck also taught them. Now each of the Crew was immortal – I guess. So that’s how they became a crew – I mean by fighting crime with their so called “powers”! So now they are to be called – are you ready? – Chuck and the Crew – The Crime Fighters. Coming to a theater near you!

Rated R for bad language [farts] and very graphic scenes.

The End

By Josh Anderson the Cartoonist, not the writer.